oil

This is the book I thought of as I squatted over a hole I had just dug in the sand, on a hill, with a plane flying overhead. I kept dropping the toilet paper and all my other accoutrements because I was trying to hurry, and laughing at myself because the whole process was just so ridiculous.

I went camping this weekend. We learned about digging holes for our poop and packing out the toilet paper we used before we went. :( I am very regular, and I didn’t want to poop in the desert with no toilets, where we have to pack out our own used toilet paper, wahhhh! So, I thought, I’ll just eat lots of cheese over the weekend and thus AVOID pooping! Ha HA!

But, no. Alas, along with my sleep pad and numerous other items, I forgot my cheese. Thus, this fine glorious morning, I set out on a hike, over a hill, past another hill, up a hill between two bigger hills. Far away from my camp mates, but still not totally safe from random hikers. (Our guide suggested we just nod to anyone who happened to pass by. (As if to say, “Hey, what’s up.”?))

I picked out a sandy spot, careful to avoid the areas with ants. I dug the hole. I squatted there in the morning sun, in the peaceful quiet, on a sandy hill. A small plane flew overhead. Hey, what’s up, plane. Everybody poops.

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My food resolution this year is simple: eat food. What else would I eat, you ask? Well, according to Michael Pollan in his book In Defense of Food, there is now a lot of edible non-food available in the grocery store.

He writes about the history of food in America and how the idea of what we should eat has been taken over by well intentioned scientists and self-interested industry. We now have a near mono-culture of soybeans and corn. He talks about all the concessions that the USDA has made in their labeling and reccomendations because of industry pressure. I think I just found a consession he didn’t mention.

My friend Laura over at Starling Fitness lists the oils that the USDA reccomends which include soybean oil and corn oil. Those are our surplus crops, but I highly doubt we need ever more of those products in our body. Very interesting… I wonder if someone out there on the internet has already unravled this mystery.

I couldn’t find the spot on where the USDA recommends these oils. I did find a page where they are listed. They use vague language about the oils, so maybe they are trying to avoid industry wrath without lying.

Oils come from many different plants and from fish. Some common oils are:

• canola oil
• corn oil
• cottonseed oil
• olive oil
• safflower oil
• soybean oil
• sunflower oil

I highly recommend In Defense of Food.  You can listen to Michael Pollan’s six minutes of advice about nutrition and read an excerpt from his book on NPR, and listen to the more interesting and longer interview he did about the content of his book The Omnivore’s Dilemma.

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An NPR snippet, a conversation, and what it reminded me of.

A teacher doesn’t want any of her students to be left out anymore. She proposes a new rule: You can’t say ‘You can’t play.’

Imagine how this rule would have changed the dynamics of the elementary school you grew up in. But the first thing I thought of when I heard this wasn’t how fabulous it would be, how fair things would finally be. I heard the radio program last year (which I can’t find online anywhere,) and all I could think of was how I was finally becoming a person with the ability to say “you can’t play” to people who were treating me badly. From Yes! magazine:

…Paley recounts the long process she and her students went through to determine whether or not such a rule was “fair” and could work.

On the surface, the debate seems to have two sides – the “bosses,” or the children who make up the games and decide who can play versus the rejected children who, for one reason or another, might spoil everyone’s game. But caught in the middle are those who just want to fit in and be liked. Those who fear sticking up for the outcasts because one day they, too, might be told, “You can’t play.”

“I could play alone,” says popular Lisa during one class discussion. “Why can’t Clara play alone?”

“I think that’s pretty sad,” replies the self-sufficient Angelo. “People that is alone, they has water in their eyes.”

“I’m more sad if someone comes that I don’t want to play with,” says Lisa.

Paley intervenes with a question, “Who is sadder, the one who isn’t allowed to play, or the one who has to play with someone he or she doesn’t want to play with?”

“It’s more sadder if you can’t play,” Clara pipes up.

“The other one is the same sadder,” says Lisa.

“It has to be Clara, because she puts herself away in her cubby. And Lisa can still play every time,” says Angelo.

I don’t know. As an elementary school kid, I definitely identified with the kids in the middle. I desperately wanted to fit in, and I ached to be popular, but I was bold too. I would be friends with the outcasts despite my fears. I didn’t want anyone to be left out. Now I identify a little more with Lisa! I’m tired of including some people. I think maybe there is a reason they are left out. Maybe the people who are left out need some social skills training. That reminds me of a story… Part 2

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I’ve been listening to Pandora and one of my favorite songs came on. Particularly appropriate for today. Love Will Come To You by The Indigo Girls.

guess i wasn’t the best one to ask… me myself with my face pressed up against love’s glass… to see the shiny toy I’ve been hoping for the one I never can afford… the wide world spins and spits turmoil and the nations toil for peace… but the paws of fear upon your chest, only love can soothe that beast… and my words are paper tigers no match for the predator of pain inside her… i say love will come to you hoping just because i spoke the words that they’re true as if i’ve offered up a crystal ball to look through where there’s now one there will be two… i was born under the sign of cancer… like brushing cloth i smooth the wrinkles for an answer… i close my eyes and wish you fine (i’m always closing my eyes wishing i’m fine) even though i know you’re not this time (even though i’m not this time)… i say love will come to you hoping just because i spoke the words that they’re true as if i’ve offered up a crystal ball to look through where there’s now one there will be two… dodging your memories a field of knives always on the outside looking in on other’s lives… i say love will come to you hoping just because i spoke the words that they’re true as if i’ve offered up a crystal ball to look through where there’s now one there will be two… and i wish her insight to battle love’s blindness strength from the milk of human kindness a safe place for all the pieces that scattered learn to pretend there’s more than love that matters

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Top ten things I love about the end of the year? Well, one of them has to be all the “best of” music lists, where I discover a lot of good music. I love All songs Considered on NPR. You can listen online to theirNPR 2005 Countdown.

All Songs Considered host Bob Boilen counts down listener picks for the ten best CDs of 2005, with NPR music reviewers Will Hermes, Tom Moon and Meredith Ochs. They also share some of their own favorites from the year and take calls from listeners. This program originally webcast live on NPR.org Dec. 16, 2005.

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A list of wants that are buyable, ’cause my family keeps asking.

The big one, in descending order of cost

• Ecologically built house in a co-housing neighborhood by the mountains and the sea, in the country near a city, close enough that I can ride to it on a bike, or a train. :)
• Ecologically built house
• House
• Townhouse
• Condo
• Very small condo

Technology (may add specifics later)

• New computer! A tablet pc (sorry mac, but I want a tablet.)
• Printer
• Scanner
• Video camera
• Digital camera
• Voice recorder

More

• A combo CD player, tape player, and radio that has good quality sound and is fairly small.
• A tempurpedic mattress. (I have one of the pillows and I like it, but I think I need a softer one.)
• A softer tempurpedic like pillow.

I can live without but would be nice if you happen to win it in a contest

• New fuel-efficient, part-electrically powered car

Other car stuff

• Oil change
• General check up
• Air conditioning
• CD player for my current car
• Tape player for my current car

Services

• Training with Steve Andreas (seriously, I really want to take all these trainings.)
• Personal Sessions with Steve Andreas
• Personal Sessions with Connirae Andreas
• A haircut from Devachan salon or a certified Devachan hair stylist

Highest priorities from my Amazon wish list

• The Five Keys to Permanent Stress Reduction by Neil Fiore
• The Science of Fitness with Tamilee: I Want That Body! by Tamilee Webb -ok I couldn’t wait, I just bought this for myself today. A steel butt by Christmas! Actually, I did start using this over two years ago. I paused the video during the intro to look at Tamilee’s little half moon butt on the TV screen. I stared at it while thinking positive half-moon butt thoughts. She used weights during the piddly 15 minute work out. I was training for a marathon at the time and could not get through the whole 15 minutes even without weights! I swear to you that within 3 or 4 times of doing the video I lost 3 inches off my booty. And I did eventually get a perfect half-moon butt! It was amazing. Then I had to stare at my own butt in awe. A friend told me with true feeling in her voice that she loved my butt. I eventually moved to the longer Firm videos. Now my butt looks like a large ballooning doughy lump of dough, starting to dribble down the back of my legs (seriously, this all is more than I intended to write) and I don’t have the time or inclination to do the whole Firm videos anymore, so I’m going back to my half-moon roots. (Hey! If I ever start a production company, I can call it Half-Moon Productions! In honor of my booty’s glory days!)
• Making Friends with Death : A Buddhist Guide to Encountering Mortality by Judith L. Lief
• Writing Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day: A Guide to Starting, Revising, and Finishing Your Doctoral Thesis by Joan Bolker
• City Comforts: How to Build an Urban Village, Revised Edition by David Sucher
• Creating Optimism : A Proven, 7-Step Program for Overcoming Depression by Alicia Fortinberry

You can find the cheapest online prices for books including shipping costs at Fetchbook.

Hair Products (Thank you to the great site Curly Links for the list)

• TRESemme Conditioners - Vitamin E Moisture Rich or Pro Vitamin B5 & Aloe Remoisturizing or Vitamin E & Aloe Colour Revitalizing
  
• Aussie Moist Conditioner
• Soft Sheen Carson Optimum Care Stay Strong Conditioner
  
• DevaCurl Conditioners
  Buy from NaturallyCurly.com’s CurlMart
  Buy from Devachan Salon

• TRESemme Smooth De-Frizzing Moisture Gel
• TRESemme Tres Gel Clean-Hold
• LaBella Lots of Curls Extra Hold Styling Gel

Surprises from the Heart

I have a friend who usually does not want anyone to give him conventional gifts. He thinks they are too commercial. He often gives handmade gifts and requests the same. For his birthday he asked for homemade gifts from the heart and got some great gifts. So, besides books, an ecologically built house, and styling gel, I would love homemade gifts or other gifts from your heart.

Most of the things I get complimented on were gifts from my gracious family. Their generosity is everywhere.

Merry (planning for) Christmas!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want to create your own wishlist without all the copy and pasting? Here are some wishlist sites (untested by me.)

• The things I want
• Kaboodle
• Wishlist

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Things I’m not good at: remembering what people’s cars look like, having any idea when my period is coming.

My first clue is when I suddenly start crying and feel that life is really not worth living and wondering how I will make it through the next 80 or so years. So, last night my teacher says something to me and it makes me cry. Luckily only one side of me is weak; my right side. I don’t know what this means, but sometimes if I am trying not to cry but can’t help crying, only my right eye will cry. This is very useful if I’m a passenger in a car, as I’ve had many opportunities to discover. One side of me can be relentlessly leaking while I’m carrying on a normal conversation with the ignorant driver.

Last night, I tried to pass off my crying as something in my eye, and this could have been a success. I also used my time honored tradition of thinking of a rock. I don’t know why this works for me , but it helps. I even drew a picture of a rock on my notebook paper. Yes, I’m a 30-something master’s student and I was trying not to cry in class by repeating everything my professor said in my head while looking at a picture of a rock, so I didn’t have time to say to myself, “Nobody likes me!” As I said, this could have worked. Then my professor, who had continued teasing me, ’cause we’re just that kind of fun loving class and I can (usually) take it, came up to me during the break and said with his kind little eyes, “You know I was kidding, right?” My averted eyes and non-committal mumble caused him to repeat. Then my classmate next to me tried to joke with me. I had to hurry and leave. Don’t look at me with kind eyes when I’m thinking, “rock!”

I rushed down 3 flights of stairs to a bathroom in the basement that I found when I was new and didn’t know where my classes were. Yes, it was where I remembered it from 2 years ago. The whites of my eyes were both bright red, and I started sobbing witht he gasping breaths and everything. Then it was just unrecoverable. My face was blotchy and wet and the sight of my crumpling face in the mirror was making me laugh between sobs. Then someone knocked at the unisex bathroom door. A man with a long beard, a red bandana, and some peircings was leaning against the wall waiting. I hoped he didn’t think the unflushed stuff in the toilet was from me.

Outside I was suprised by a beautiful sunset, which always helps. The air was crisp and I walked quickly towards my car, thinking, “I’ll look in the mirror of my car and if I can look like I wasn’t crying I’ll go back to class.” Unfortunately, I got in a crowded elevator full of psychologists. They were talking about feelings and how you should just express them. Everyone got off at another floor except me, and one little dark-haired lady. Do you know how you can hold it together as long as no one speaks to you? Or if they at least speak to you in an impersonal tone of voice? “Are you ok?” She asks me. Still, I manage to nod and not cry. “Do you want to talk about it?” I don’t know what I mumbled. “It it helps, I am a psychologist.” Well, thanks a lot lady. Now you’ve done it. I just started sobbing, my crumpled blotchy face beyond help. True to form, I felt despair of life ever being worth living for the rest of the night, and to top it off, Tivo messed up and did not record Gilmore Girls. Sometimes it’s the little things that count. I have to go back to class tonight with the same proffesor. The friend I went crying to, who also made me cry again, has advised me to say that I had a lot going on that day and had to leave, and that’s why I missed the computer simulation about system models.

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I have so much to tell you, but I guess I’ll just do a short post about a movie today. I wish I had one of those programs that automatically posts. It would make my urge to communicate seem more regular and steady. Hey! I just thought of a way to write about the movie without spoiling it for those of you who haven’t seen it. One of my proffessors came up with this nifty technique: Where there is blank space, just triple click to see the writing. [Update: the triple click doesn't work well here, just highlight.] If you haven’t seen the movie, don’t triple click!

So, today I go to get drug tested for my new job, because I’d been acting kind of funny and all… (Ok, I just decided that the rest of this story will have to wait, until I’m not working there. It may be awhile. I’ll keep writing about it, but I’ll do a post-job series of posts. I want to keep my new job. So, skipping to the movie, I went to see it while I was waiting for my drug results.)

I liked it! I put it in the category of movies that have suprisingly good messages, like Bourne Supremacy. Tom Cruise was not the rugged, never-phased, can-think-of-every-imaginable-thing-that-amazingly-saves-the-day hero. Thank goodness. He was this sort of everyday, crappy father guy. Yes, he thought of a few good things, but his situation still seemed hopeless. And my favorite thing, unlike so many disaster movies, is that the people actually seemed phased by the things that happen to them. I often notice the psycological unreality in movies. Where other people are screaming, “That could never happen, that 60 foot Gorgon would never be able to fit into that cavern!” I am yelling, “Those people need therapy! There is no way they would be acting like that if their Grandma just melted in volcanic water!” This action/disaster movie showed the most realistic psychological reactions I have seen. Yes, I too have heard of Tom Cruise’s latest nuttery. However, I love him in movies like this.

The story of the alian invasion is definately secondary and clunky. Like Ebert, it did cross my mind that the alians sure made a lame plan, but unlike Ebert, I like that the story focuses on one person’s experience. It was more humanizing and interestingly, more scary. If you can help it, don’t read Ebert’s review before you go, or anyone else’s for that matter. I made a decision at the beginning of the movie to go with it, to be immersed, and the storytellers didn’t let me down.

Categories | Movies, Post-Job Series, Links

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I just saw Star Wars. Quickly turn away if you haven’t seen it!
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I don’t know if I’ll write any spoilers in here, but I hate to hear anything before seeing a movie. Wow. It was better than I expected, and better than some people told me it would be. Now that I’ve seen it, I can finally go read Roger Ebert’s review. It was intense and I felt more sad after seeing it than during the movie. I’m just so sad that Anikan turned bad, and I’m sad that he had to burn up like that. I think the reason it really pulls at me emotionally is because it mirrors many of the feelings I’ve had as our nation has gone to war and as people have voted for less freedom. It just hurts that people can get so caught up in a fake enemy and resort to killing people to “liberate” them.

Padme was just about to say, “There’s still hope.” Sometimes when I have felt down about political decisions people have made, I take the long view. I think, “well, there will be another ice age and it will all be wiped out. Not to worry, the damage isn’t permanent.” That sounds really fatalistic, huh. It reminds me of a quote I read in Finding Flow, attributed to Buddhists:

Act always as if the future of the Universe depended on what you did, while laughing at yourself for thinking that whatever you do makes any difference.

I think that’s a little heavy. (you think) But I do think that everything we do can have an effect and that an effective way to think of that is with hope- that even the little things you do make a difference, and not with guilt- that’s where the laughing at yourself needs to come in.

Oh yeah, the special effects were really cool too. :)

Categories: Democracy, Movies

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In the tops of Redwood trees there are gardens with soil 4 feet deep, ponds, salamanders and crustaceans! My mom called this sunny afternoon to tell me about the article she read. (It’s in the New Yorker, not online, but you can check out this online article about that article.) She was amazed that they discovered whole new life forms up there. I’m amazed at how happy I am to talk to my mom, someone I used to be so angry at that when I was nice to her, my aggression came out towards her in my dreams. This is indicitive of vast changes in my family and myself. So, my cheesy metaphor of the day is: there is always a new life waiting to be discovered in your old life. Keep climbing. :)

Categories: My Life, Well Being, Science, Essay, Links

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Yes, my home state voted to drill in the Arctic. (Why, home state, why??!) But apparently, all is not lost. You, yes, you, can still sign a petition that could SAVE THE ARCTIC. (Wouldn’t that make you feel good?)

On March 16th the Senate voted by a razor-thin margin to open the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to oil drilling by sneaking a measure into the budget bill. But the fight to protect the Refuge is not over. Send your Senators and Representatives a message now, telling them to vote against any FINAL budget measure that would allow oil drilling in the Arctic Refuge.

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(Boy I just can’t seem to get away from these long posts lately.) Help save the arctic, will ya? I know you’re glad some far-sighted folks saved the Grand Canyon for us all and Yosemite and Zion’s. Gosh this Earth is beautiful, let’s keep it that way. Here is a decidedly Democratic letter, BUT I think saving this planet is a priority for all the people, no matter what your political leanings.

We have only 24 to 48 hours to try and save the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Several Republicans are trying to sneak legislation through the Senate approving oil drilling and they are incredibly close to winning. We have to stop them.

I am joining with Senator Maria Cantwell (D-Washington) in offering a critical amendment to stop this sneak attack on our environment. We will fight on the floor of the Senate, but we need you by our side.

There are seven key Republican Senators whose votes will decide the future of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. Before they vote, we need to make sure they know that their constituents are watching, and that they will not be able to support drilling without anybody noticing.

Here are two critical steps we can take together to support our amendment to protect this National Wildlife Refuge:

1. Join the Citizens’ Roll Call
First of all, take part in a massive fast-moving display of citizen support for the Arctic Refuge. Sign our Cantwell-Kerry Citizens’ Roll Call now.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

To make our Citizens’ Roll Call impossible to ignore, we have alerted the media, environmental advocates and my fellow Senators to a scrolling display of the names and home towns of the roll call signers. It is posted on our johnkerry.com website, where we hope to soon add your name and a running tally of the number of citizens on our Citizens’ Roll Call.

2. Bring the fight to the home states of the seven senators
We need to launch emergency online advertising campaigns in the home states of those seven critical senators: Senator Coleman (MN), Senator Smith (OR), Senator Specter (PA), Senator Martinez (FL), Senator Lugar (IN), and Senators Gregg and Sununu (NH).

We need your help to bring our Save the Arctic Refuge message home in these six states. Help us fund an emergency ad campaign to make sure they know how strongly the people they represent feel about protecting the Arctic. Please make an emergency donation right now.

http://contribute.johnkerry.com

When Senator Cantwell, myself and other Senators stand up in support of the Cantwell-Kerry Amendment, we will have powerful arguments on our side. (I have recapped some of those arguments at the end of this email message)

But, to win, we need to be able to report directly to our Senate colleagues that massive numbers of citizens around the country - and in their own states - are rising up to demand that the Senate protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

That’s why your immediate signature is so critical.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

The Bush Administration and its oil industry allies want to send a message that they can drill for oil wherever and whenever they want to - even if it means targeting a place as striking, pristine and irreplaceable as the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

They don’t care about putting America on a genuine path to energy independence. If they did, they’d support efforts to increase energy conservation and to create clean, renewable sources of energy that no terrorist can sabotage and no foreign government can seize.

Let me be very direct with you. It is going to take an immediate and impossible-to-ignore display of grassroots support to stop them. That’s why your decision to sign our Cantwell-Kerry Amendment Citizens’ Roll Call is so crucial.

Thank you for acting quickly on this vital request.

John Kerry

P.S. Senator Cantwell, who comes from a state in the heart of the Pacific Northwest, has - at considerable political risk - courageously stepped forward to join me in leading this fight. We need you to help us win it.

http://www.johnkerry.com/RollCall

HERE ARE YOUR SAVE THE ARCTIC REFUGE TALKING POINTS

• The Arctic National Wildlife Refuge’s 19 million acres comprise one of the last places on earth where an intact expanse of arctic and sub arctic lands remains protected.

• Drilling in the Arctic Refuge can’t make even a small dent in meeting America’s energy needs. U.S. Geological Survey scientists estimate that there is very likely only enough oil to supply America’s needs for six months. And oil companies admit that, even that, won’t be available for at least 10 years.

• An irreplaceable natural treasure, the Arctic Refuge is home to caribou, polar bears, grizzly bears, wolves, golden eagles, snow geese and more. Millions of other birds use the Arctic Refuge to nest and as a critical staging area on their migratory journeys.

• Of course, the Arctic Refuge supports more than wildlife. For a thousand generations, the Gwich’in people of Northeast Alaska and Northwest Canada have depended on it and lived in harmony with it. To them, the Arctic Coastal Plain is sacred ground.

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WARNING- do not read any further if you haven’t seen the movie! This will totally spoil it for you!

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Here is Ebert’s review. On the side there are other interesting articles listed.

Lot’s of people disagree with what Clint’s character did, but I don’t. If I am ever paralyzed and so desperate to die that I bite through my tongue twice, I hope someone will have mercy on me and let me go. Most people would be at least that compassionate to an old dog who can’t even say if it wants to die or not. I can’t imagine the horror of wanting to die and being trapped against your will because you can’t physically move. On the other hand, I don’t know if I could kill someone, even if the person was someone who I loved very much and desperately needed my help to die. When my great-grandma was alive, mentally sharp, but longing to go, I wondered what I would do if she asked me to help her die. I would shrink from the physical act of taking life from someone and the prospect of future, sickening inner turmoil. I don’t think I could do that, and I consider that a weakness. I think Maggie’s trainer showed a courageous, self-sacrificing love.

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