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Champion of Love!

Champion of LOVE

I quietly raise her arm above our heads and declare her:  ”The Champion!”

How adorable is that. May you be inspired to do something adorable for your loved ones today. If you are all alone and lonesome, I’m sorry ;(, but may you be inspired to do something adorable for YOURSELF today.

via PostSecret last Valentine’s Day.

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This could also be titled: The Advantages of Being Fat

I wrote it in response to Laura’s article over at Starling Fitness about why some people are Fat Bashers.

I am not cool. I finally decided it was ok, and actually, an advantage because I always have nice friends! I mean, I honestly have such nice friends! I just don’t attract people who only want to be friends with “cool” people, thus, I have decided my nerdiness is an advantage that weeds crappy people out of my life.

Same goes for my physical imperfections. I weed out the assholes who are going to take their anger and vitriol out on people for being imperfect. And its a myth that you can lose weight and then have these people be your kind-hearted friends. I want to lose some weight right now to be healthier, but I consider it a DISadvantage that some jerks will then want to associate with me.

When I was at the peak of my physical beauty, I was far enough along the “perfect” curve for these assholes to want to associate with me, but not quite perfect enough for them not to criticize me. Of course, there were many people who didn’t criticize me, but those criticizers can always find something. I could lose 10 pounds, grow my hair out longer, wear more fashionable clothes.

And honestly, I pretty much looked like a goddess, but I have never gotten so much criticism as when I was deemed worthy enough to be associated with by people who want other people to be perfect. It never ends with these people.

Have you ever noticed how these beautiful famous women are on magazines with their cellulite circled? They are not overweight. But boy, are they being judged and ridiculed. And then if they lose just a few pounds more than people think is perfect, they are on magazines with their bony shoulders circled. I figure they have about a pound and a half lee-way where they can exist without being criticized.

I guess what I’m saying is, these people who hate fat people don’t really hate fat people in particular. They are just taking out their anger and vitriol on people who they think it is still socially acceptable to put down. It it was an earlier era, they would be bashing gay people or black people.

On a societal lever, the fat acceptance movement is the only way to stop their bashing, because no individual will ever be perfect enough for them.

On an individual level, these people are not worth trying to please. I used to try and get mean people to like me. In my early 20’s I saw a cartoon where a girl finally got her mean neighbor to like her. Then she was saying, the trouble with getting mean people to like you is then you have mean friends. Great victory.

Its SO true! Those people who are mean to you when you are fat aren’t mean to you BECAUSE you are fat, they are mean to you because they are mean.

Who knows what inner pain or just plain jack-assery causes these people to want to lash out like they do, but it is their own sick deal. Nothing you can ever do will change that, including losing weight.

I want to thank The Curvy Spot where I found a lot of the pictures. And Laura for bringing up this topic. I’m glad I read that and wrote this. It reminded me that I ceven though I am on an exercise program, and I do want to lose weight, I can enjoy how I look NOW! I do think I look beautiful, but I’ve been waiting until I soe wieht to buy cute clothes. That is just ridiculous. I’m going to celebrate my body now. And I hope you will too.

Happy Holidays!

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The Singles Coach, Nina Atwood, says to know what you want before you go out dating. So, here it is:

What I want in a man

Must have:

He…

  1. wants to live his dream- has a dream and is going for it, even if it takes awhile
  2. likes spending time with his family (ie: me and our kids) it is one of the most important things to him and he does it
  3. is enjoyable to spend time with-  is generally optimistic, tries to make the best of situations- not a complainer
  4. does fun activities- makes an effort and makes it a priority to do things he enjoys
  5. eats fairly healthy- cares about his health and cares for it, but isn’t obsessed
  6. is comfortable in his body
  7. can provide for himself and his family (maybe with help from me)
  8. wants kids or is willing to have kids and be an involved, loving father
  9. * is above the line MOST of the time
  10. is willing to do some fun things with me that I want to do that may be a little out of his comfort zone
  11. picks up after himself
  12. thinks I’m funny  and likes and admires who I am

We…

  1. have chemistry together
  2. have fun together and can be playful together
  3. laugh together
  4. work well as a team together

I…

  1. like and admire who he is, love being around him, can be myself around him, am inspired to be my best self, and am proud to be with him

Preferences:

  1. doesn’t collect things (definitely doesn’t have it be a major part of his life)
  2. good dancer
  3. never married before and no kids
  4. 6 ft – 6′4″ tall
  5. good cook!
  6. takes me camping, and teaches me and the kids how to play sports
  7. likes animals
  8. handy around the house

* Above the line vs Below the line
(This list is from The Solution and it articulates very well what I have often tried to describe as “grounded”, “has it together”, “down to earth” or “emotionally mature”)

Above the line

  1. Emotional- angry, sad afraid, guilty, grateful, happy, secure, proud
  2. Mental- clarity of thought
  3. Time- present in the moment
  4. Relational- separate but close
  5. Spiritual- secure connection
  6. Behavioral- healthful
  7. Cravings- low and manageable
  8. Health- vibrant and resilient

Below the line

  1. Emotional- hostile, depressed, panicked, ashamed, chronic worry, numb, false high
  2. Mental- confused, forgetful, obsessive
  3. Time- living in the past, living in the future
  4. Relational- merged or disengaged
  5. Spiritual- lost, abandoned, obsessed
  6. Behavioral- unhealthful
  7. Cravings- high, seem unstoppable
  8. Health- sick and vulnerable

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