health

As you may have noticed, if you check in here regularly, I’m in a process of deciding what money making projects I want to focus my energy on.

Here is a video bio of a health and exercise trainer named Alana Mann. In this video she talks about her journey towards her current theories about health. I love how she reveals the deeper values that are driving her career choices towards the end of the video. She says, “It’s my opinion that the world needs more strong and empowered women to really heal her.”

Click here to get to Alana’s website Origins of Energy.

Things I would love to know:

What are the underlying values driving your choices? Is it something you notice? Is it important to you that your choices match your deepest values? If so, how do you keep your values in mind while you make your everyday choices?

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YES! Fitness and percentage of fatness may correlate but they are not the same thing. No, my friend, they are not. If you are one of those fat prejudiced people and you justify your judgment by saying that people who are fat are being unhealthy, it is time to stop that right now! Check out this new research that I found in Kathy Smith’s blog:

———–
“There was a lot of buzz this past week about a new study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Turns out fitness may trump fatness when it comes to living longer. In other words, it’s better to be fit and fat than to be at a normal weight and out of shape.

“I can’t tell you how happy this news makes someone like me. I feel like I’ve known this my whole life, but never really had the scientific proof to back it up. I’ve watched thousands of people shape up and experience medical transformations without necessarily reaching a weight most would call “slim.””
———-

Another note to any fat prejudiced people: Even if all people who have more fat on their bodies than you are comfortable with are unhealthy, that still does not give you an excuse to be rude, judgmental, or think that you are superior. You’re not!

(If you want to shift out of judgment: instead of thinking something along the lines of: “they shouldn’t be fat,” Try something along the lines of, “I prefer to be at about 15% body fat. That is my strong preference for myself. Other people can make different choices.” Check out this article by Steve Andreas for an in depth look at shaking the black hole of judgment.)

Sorry for the angry lecture, everyone else, the fact that some people think that fat prejudice is still acceptable really burns my tootsies.

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Do you remember Kathy Smith, the star of many fitness videos? I found a couple of her videos at the thrift store today and decided to hop online and see what she had to say for herself these days. It turns out that she has quite a lot to say.

Click here to check out Kathy Smith’s fitness blog.

She is pro women’s sports, pro exercising and eating healthy, pro women of all shapes and sizes, and anti-deprivation. So, I think she’s my kind of gal. I found many of her posts to be really inspiring (even though some also link to her products.)

Check out what she says about deprivation:

“I’ve noticed that most people get caught up in that vicious cycle of dieting and then blowing the diet. It usually goes like this: You’re unhappy with the way you look and feel. You seek a diet that promises instant weight loss through complete control of what, when, and how you eat. Soon you discover that you can’t stick with it, and you end up right back where you started…

“To be successful, you have to move out of a diet mentality. Most plans don’t take into account what food really means to us. They don’t consider how the flavor and color and texture and presentation of food can give us so much pleasure. They don’t consider how eating foods that you don’t like leaves you unsatisfied.

“It was a good reminder for me today that, as I support others in their efforts to lose weight, choosing foods you truly love and that also enhance your physiological well-being are the key to becoming an independent eater.”

Well said, Kathy! And a timely reminder for me as I was about to launch into diet-like behavior by eating a protein shake on a regular basis, rather than a really yummy breakfast. My diet like thoughts may help explain why I was eating cake mix out of the package with a spoon this week. (I know, pretty image.)

When I just decide to eat really delicious and mostly healthy food, I end up eating a very healthy, balanced diet. (It doesn’t necessarily make me lose weight, but I do feel and look healthier.) But if I start thinking that I need to get thinner and then focus on that goal, the fearful gorging begins.

Breathe in, deep breath. I’m letting go of needing to look a certain way. That won’t guarantee me love. People of all shapes and sizes are loved. (I’m already loved, why am I trying to get all thin to get love?) Just focus on moving my awesome body and eating very delicious, mostly healthy food. Breath out…

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The author of the Blue Zone has studied long living populations around the world and now has advice for YOU online.

The advice about living longer always says stuff like: have a close circle of loving and supportive friends and family, economic stability, close access to nature, and interesting work. OH BOTHER, close friends and family… well, I guess if it makes me live longer…

Well, duh. I mean, of course I want all those things!

The trick is GETTING those things. I’ve lived what is probably a third of my life and I’m still working on getting all that.

So, I am taking a few simple tips and from the site and putting them into practice:

1. Get rid of your full size plates and use 9 inch plates instead. OK! THAT I can do.
2. Put movement into your everyday life. This one is cheating ’cause I already do that. ;) Walking is pleasure and a perfect stress reliever for me. I’m going to try and boost this one by inviting friends to go walking with me more often.
3. And, I’m going to make more of an effort to go to church every week. I’m blessed to live 20 minutes away from a church with an amazing minister. I might as well take advantage of that.

What are three simple things you can do to live a longer and happier life?

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Last week I went for some bookstore therapy with a gift card in my wallet. I got some great books including “Finding Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced Chik-SENT-me-high-ee.) I find it to be a very encouraging book and it’s motivated me to get off my butookus and get some exercise the last few days. ChiksSENTmehighee also reassured me this morning as I woke up to my first newly unemployed Monday. He said that jobs are unsatisfying for three main reasons:

1. They are meaningless or worse yet, they put energy towards negative ends.
2. They are boring and tedious.
3. They are stressful, often as a result of negative interactions with peers and co-workers. 

My job was mildly positively meaningful, very boring and tedious, and I had good relationships with my co-workers and my boss.  I did what ChikSentmehighee recommends in the face of a boring job. I studied each step intensively. I made the process hugely more efficient which eventually halved the hours my job took. My old boss was very appreciative of all my extra energy and initiative and rewarded me with interesting projects to fill up my newly freed hours, and flexibility on the job, including letting me work flexible hours. I worked near the people I was serving, so I was also appreciated by the people I was near. My job was still only mildly meaningful and still somewhat dull, but I put energy into it and was appreciated. When my boss quit a few months ago. I was moved to a new department. My new boss didn’t seem to appreciate the high quality work I did and the extra energy I put into my work, but she was quite peeved when I didn’t “follow her directives” which included checking in with her before I left my office (???) and other ridiculous rules that didn’t have anything to do with how well I could do my job.  She rewarded my efficiency with more dull and boring work to fill up the hours. Just what I always wanted! And also rewarded my self-motivating and self-starting work ethic with closer supervision and more rules.  I was also in a separate building from my main “customers” so I didn’t work near people who knew that I worked from home a couple hours on my day off to make their lives easier. After trying to work out better working conditions for myself, and getting no helpfulness from my boss, I gave a heap load of notice, and quit without a new job already in place. People say I’m brave. I read about the possible reccesion over the weekend and thought that I may be very foolish. ChickSENTmehighee thinks I  made a good choice though. He says,

“Perhaps the only choice is to quit as quickly as possible even in the face of severe financial hardship. In terms of the bottom line of one’s life, it is always better to do something that one feels good about than something that may make us materially comfortable but emotionally miserable.” 

Sometimes it helps to see it in print.Wishing you a great day with an emotionally healthy bottom line! I’m off to have an unemployed adventure!

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Don’t pay so much attention to obstacles that you can’t see your goal.

-Phylicia Rashad

It’s the traditional time of year for goals and I seem to be in synch with the universe. I’m thinking about my future. Every day, ok, every hour, I think of something new I want to do. Watching the caucus results makes me want to go into politics.  It’s so exciting! (I must be a true grown up now because I find politics interesting and I talk about my health.)

Then I watched Phylicia Rashad on the Tavis Smiley show and was inspired by her story to think that maybe I want to move to Mexico City. I have a good friend from Mexico City, maybe I could go with her!

Whatever I do, whatever you are doing, I think Phylicia Rashad’s advice is good. I love that woman. Good luck to you in the new year. Set your sights on what you really want, study, and don’t pay too much attention to the obstacles.

With love,

B.

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Man this guy was ahead of his time. So we’ve been plagued by the pitfalls of the modern age for awhile now, huh?

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…consider that all those calculations of what is “in my interest” and what will benefit me and what I can “afford” grow tiresome. When we live rightly, decision by decision, the heart sings even when the rational mind disagrees and the ego protests. Besides, human wisdom is limited. Despite our machinations, we are ultimately unsuccessful at avoiding pain, loss and death. For animals, plants, and humans alike, there is more to life than not dying.

- Charles Eisenstein

This is the tail end of an article about the ethics of eating meat. He argues that it’s ethical because we are all going to die and the real question is how the animal was treated while it was alive. I admire vegetarians and feel like a hyporite when I meat, because I sure as hell don’t want someone to eat me! But, I still eat meat. I just haven’t managed to find a way to feel healthy and energetic without it. I eat meat less often than I used to and I’m down to birds and seafood. i think every little bit helps.

This article promted me to decide to take another step. I will work towards only eating farm raised or hunted creatures rather than factory raised creatures. I already only eat farm raised free range eggs and highly encourage you to do so as well. (More ethical and all you have to give up is a few more cents.) I do encourage you to buy your eggs from a local farmer if you have the chance as the label “free range” in the grocery store has a variety of meanings.

The article can be found here.

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* Eat whatever I want to whenever I want to.
* Don’t eat anything I don’t want to. (I just discovered this one.)

* Only exercise if I feel like exercising.
* If I feel like moving, let myself move! (I just discovered this one!)

These decisions are about noticing how I feel and completely trusting that what I want to do is alright. What would taste good to me? What do I really want right now? Do I want to lay in bed for an hour, or go on a walk in the park, or take a long hot shower, or do an exercise tape I haven’t done in years and then stop after 14 minutes, or go running and then sprint on some blocks juse for fun?

It’s a huge leap of faith! You mean, I could just eat whatever I want to?? Really? Me? :) And still be alive and stuff? And not weigh 300 pounds and stuff?

You mean, I could just, like, exercise when I want to?? And then like, lay around or dance in my living room if I want to? Like I’m just some kind of animal? ;)

Here I am deciding to let myself eat whatever I desire and move when, if and how I desire to. (Sounds very hedonistic no? Scary to inner puritan, no?) When I first made the decision to NEVER DIET AGAIN, about 2 years ago, I ate hot pockets everyday for about a month. Then I went through a licorice phase. I gained 25 pounds!

And then I eventually, blessedly, stopped obsessing about food.

I stopped eating more than I wanted to at parties because I knew, but really knew that I could eat more later if I felt like it. I stopped finishing all my chips if I wasn’t in the mood for chips, because I knew, I mean really knew that I could have more chips if ever I wanted to. I mean, it is amazingly freeing to stop obsessing about food. You of the long time dieters know how much brain energy goes into thinking about food. Imagine my relief.

You know which countries don’t have more depressed woman than men? The countries where women don’t diet.

But! You say, I don’t want to gain 25 pounds and have my arteries clogged with hot pockets! I know, I know, me neither. But I was even more sick of dieting or even being hyper alert about eating “healthy.” I made a full committment to never diet again whatever the results, and the results were not leading to many health goals at first, but strangely, I think this process of following my desires has now led me on a journey of having health and energy. Tune in tomorrow for the super secret of my success. Wait, that sounds too cheeky. Tune in tomorrow for the super secrets of my ordinary life of being fairly healthy and freeing up my brain to think about whatever I want to think about!

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Last year I almost stopped going to church because I felt so harassed by someone. I finally had to learn to tell him that he couldn’t hang out with me. I wrote about a lunch I had with him last year:

I had an awkward “young adult” lunch last week after church. See, there are the old young adults who no longer eat with the official young adult group. Then there is the official young adult group whose numbers are dwindling, because there are a couple (one in particular for me) obnoxious people who others don’t want to eat with.

It’s like an inverted circle of belonging with people in the middle of the group being rejected by the people forced to the edges. Because we won’t out and out kick someone out of the group, we kick ourselves out. It’s very curious. I’ve opted to take myself out of the lunch situation altogether on most Sundays (one of the “forced to the edges folks”), or just go with a couple friends. The unofficial groups are getting bigger than the official group. (This is leading to publicity interventions that don’t work as they are missing the point of the problem: fodder for a post on performance intervention.)

Churches are usually safe places for people to be included. I know that I felt safer at church when I was a kid knowing that the rules didn’t allow out and out exclusion. I feel safer at church now for some of the same reasons, now that I think about it. Because of this inclusion, people who will not be included anywhere else often end up at a church. It’s a situation I’ve experienced at every church I’ve attended. One friend calls it the “broken winged bird” syndrome. But, we are all broken winged birds at some time. You don’t have to be cool at church. (Ahh, what a relief.) In fact, you don’t even have to have social skills. (Ahh… What a headache.)

The particular lunch last Sunday was kind of funny if looked at as a scene in a movie. One of the new older young adults (try to keep this all straight) came up to me after church and whispered “I’m co-opting you. Come to lunch with us.” The way he said it was so cute that I said I would go. As we walked out, the obnoxious guy’s girlfriend (the guy I stopped going to lunches to avoid) asked where we were going for lunch and the new older guy told her! He didn’t realize that the older young adult people purposefully excludes these people. I just shook my head. When we arrived at the restaurant, the whole young adult crew had arrived before us and were sitting with the old young adults who were clearly angry. “I thought you were going to [this other restaurant]” One of the women said to me. I know she assumed I told all the young adults because I used to be the leader. Sigh.

The table was split down the middle and we might as well have been at different restaurants for all the interaction that occurred between the two groups. Ironically, I was stuck sitting near the obnoxious guy who I stopped going to lunches to avoid. I tried to ignore him. He tried to take a picture of my side of the table. “Please don’t take my picture right now.” I said. “Are you saying you don’t want your picture taken at any events?” He asked angrily.

The truth is that I just don’t want him to have my picture because he creeps me out. In fact, let me just drift into a fantasy answer for a minute: “No.” I tell him. “I’m fine with having my picture taken at events, but I’m not fine with you taking it. Because, you give me the creeps and the way you are taking my picture gives me the creeps and the way you used to follow me around and badger me makes me angry. I’ve told you that I find your behavior invasive, and that I don’t want you to talk to me, and now, here you are, talking to me. Go away! No one wants you at this restaurant! PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE!!!”

What I actually tell him is, “No, I just don’t want my picture taken right now.” He gets angry and tells his girlfriend, “She’s just selfish. I’m doing this for the group and she is just selfish!” “She’s eating! Leave her alone!” She tells him. They fight, his girlfriend walks out. He walks out after her. She comes back in. He’s still outside. “I’m sorry.” I say to her. “It’s not your fault. I just hate it when he gets all self righteous.” she says.

Sheesh. I drove home with the friend who invited me who didn’t notice any of this. He’s surprised when I tell him that the original people were angry that the official group came. “I just think ‘the more the merrier.’” He tells me.

What do you think? Is “you can’t say you can’t play” a good rule? Just for kids or for you too? How do you balance kindness, inclusion, and yet keep healthy and happy boundaries?

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…A single Man has not nearly the Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons…

Check out the fascinating reasons. :)

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This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.4
Mind:	7.2
Body:	8.2
Spirit:	8.2
Friends/Family:	4.3
Love:	2.1
Finance:	6.3
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Wow, I can’t believe my life rated well enough to give advice! I’m up from a year ago.

After taking the quiz, they said my rating was above average and asked me to give words of advice! That is a request I cannot resist.

Think about it:

I have really thought about what makes me happy and I’ve tried to implement those things. I’ve also tried to accept my weaknesses and work with how I am. For instance, TV is not a thing that makes me happy in the long run, but when I have it, I get addicted. So, I don’t get cable. My mind is much more relaxed since doing this and I have way more time for actual fun.

Healthy habits:

I write in my journal almost everyday. This helps calm my mind down.

Finances for the middle class:

I have a steady job which I don’t love but it is nice to have steady money. (I’m working on getting a job I love.) It’s very stressful to be scrambling for money. I live well within my means so that I can save every month. I decide what feels luxurious for me so I get to feel rich while living simply. For me, it is a treat to be able to go to the grocery store and buy whatever I want with out checking for prices. This is real luxury for me that doesn’t actually cost me that much. I’m cheap in areas I don’t care about. For example, I am content to drive an old car which means no car payments and cheap insurance.

Relationships!

The best thing I’ve done for myself is to make good relationships a priority. I was happy to be able to honestly say that I have 6-10 good friends and that I have a close relationship with my family. That wasn’t always true for me.

Advice for people who need it:

I highly recommend making relationships a priority. If you are having trouble making friends or unsure where to make friends, here are two main ways you can start to improve that.

First, learn to take good care of yourself and start with small steps. For example, start doing things you like to do, even if it is on a small scale. You want to be a famous dancer? Turn on some music and dance around in your room. What does this have to do with relationships? Your level of happiness shows up and people will be attracted to you based on that happiness.

Sometimes it can be hard to learn to care for yourself if you weren’t raised that way. Just take one small step. Sometimes, even if you were raised well, it can be so easy to forget what you love and what makes you happy. It can also be easy to not take your preferences seriously. If you really feel so much happier when you go on a walk after dinner, GO ON THAT WALK! Your happiness is important.

Next, even before you have made yourself all happy and perfect, go out and find some people to be with! Your personal balance and maturity and the health of your relationships are intertwined and you need to pursue both.

Two good places to meet people if you are feeling shaky socially: churches and support groups. To put it plainly, these are places that will accept you even if you are socially inept and to be socially ept :) you need to be around people. To be socially ept, you also need to learn a lot of skills, so do some reading about relationships, take some classes, practice some skills, learn by observation. Avoid the pitfalls of seeming desperate (which can be hard if you are just coming out of seclusion - why support groups are helpful) also avoid the pitfall of arrogance. Really try on the belief that most people have something valuable to offer you.

Tip: If you are not religious, a good church to try is a Unitarian Universalist church.

Ps: I would have loved to read other people’s advice, but couldn’t find it. What’s your happiness advice?

PPS: Once again they scored me low in the friends and family department when I think that is one of the best things about my life. Shall I be punished for my unhappy childhood forever, internet quiz?

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This is for all the little tooth pulp,
trying to keep the teeth alive…
Don’t give up until someone,
Scrapes you out with a,
Giant silver thing from on high…

Yes, I got my perfectly healthy tooth pulp scraped out yesterday, a sacrificial killing known as a root canal. They were fast, efficient, and as pleasant as they could be under the circumstances, but still, now my perfectly healthy tooth pulp is dead. I feel a lot of pride or shame about my body depending on it’s health. It’s like owning a house plant and watching it flourish, “Yes,” you can think to yourself, “I am a good caretaker of the living thing. uga uga.” (If cave dwellers owned plants.)

So, I cried at the dentist’s office when she told me I needed a root canal and that they would have to drill off part of the bone when they gave me a crown. She thought it was because I was nervous, but the crying was more like angry crying; the anger of helplessness and frustration. They said the only option was a root canal. I felt somewhat vindicated when they got inside the tooth and found that all the pulp was healthy and alive. (The aliveness of the nerves is why I was in pain.) So I want to thank my tooth pulp for not getting inflamed under the worst of circumstances, and for keeping my nerves healthy and alive. This is a sad farewell to the tooth pulp I could not save.

I think in the future, instead of killing a tooth to save it, (ie a root canal) they will figure out ways to save the tooth by regenerating it, especially if all the tooth pulp is healthy. I have had three root canals, and was feeling like a failure as I drove home from the endodontist. (That’s a lot of dead house plants.) But then I thought, “I could think of it as three dead teeth, or 29 live teeth!” So, I have made a committment to having the best dental health possible from now on. I’m doing it for the tooth pulp.

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The Mood Cure by Julia Ross really saved my bacon after I ran a marathon in 2004. I thought I just had the after-a-big-event-blues, but it turns out that it is not uncommon for people to feel down after a marathon because people use up their mood producing amino acids. (It’s an even worse scene for ultra-marathoners.) That’s right, sometimes you don’t have to dig deep into your psyche to find out what is wrong with you, you just need to pop a supplement, and that’s ok.

The Mood Cure explains how you can spot a “false mood” and what nutritional deficiency that might be caused by. There are people who have structural damage to their brains which can cause personality changes, but for most people false moods or moods of any kind are caused by chemicals in the brain. You can also affect your mood with your thoughts, and with your environment (like getting enough sun,) and your behavior (like getting enough sleep,) but they affect your mood via chemical changes in your brain and “surprisingly brainlike areas of your heart and gut.” The idea in the Mood Cure is that if you are severely deficient in a nutrient, you cannot produce the necessary chemicals to keep your mood steady even if you are thinking good thoughts etc. Julia Ross recommends supplements. For people who are deficient in certain nutrients because of diet, they will only need to take supplements for awhile while they are getting their diet back on track. For some people who have trouble creating certain chemicals, they may need to keep taking certain supplements.

This is one of my top 5 recommended books because it can take your experience of life from very miserable to just fine in as short a time as a week with some very simple changes in your diet and some fairly cheap supplements that you can find at any health store.

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My response to Laura’s response to Steve’s post about fixing the problems in the world.

Hmmm.. I agree with both of you. I think we should all be like medical doctors and first do no harm. After that, I think there is a lot of room for variation. I am one of those save the world types that I think Steve and Laura both are. However, the world would be very boring if there weren’t the decorate and make things pretty types and the look at me aren’t I beautiful types and the I’m so charming types. (I’m sure we all have a little of all of those, I know I do. Tounge in cheek aside: As Max in Sound of Music said, people aren’t good or bad, they are charming or dull.)

That being said, I do think a call to action can sometimes be very healthy. Some people may need a call to action. It’s all about balance. If you are a save the world type, I think it is wise to follow Laura and S. Covey’s advice and focus your efforts on your area of influence rather than your area of concern and then your area of influence will grow. But first, do no harm and be kind. We save the world types can sometimes be pretty hard on other people and ourselves, at least I know I can.

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I started a new diet on Halloween. Halloween!! All that missed candy!! In sharp contrast to Laura’s advice at Starling Fitness, I am doing a diet which restricts my food choices. It’s an experiment. I’m trying it until Thanksgiving Day, at which time I will eat everything that I want to, which will probably not be as much as I anticipate. The Rosedale Diet is supposed to turn me into a fat burning machine and make all my inside systems much more youthful. I’ll let you know. Tonight I made a “pizza” which would have been much better if the recipe hadn’t referred to it as a “pizza.” I weighed myself for the first time today, on a neighbors scale, so that will have to be my benchmark.

My experience: So far my biggest fear of being hungry has been realized, all because of lack of planning. I also feel a little weird. I don’t know how to describe it, I don’t have the icky low blood sugar feeling, but I do feel carb-deprived.

Links

• A Diet Blog weighs in about the Rosedale Diet.
• L. Robinson’s personal experience with the diet over at free dieting.
• A Blogger is documenting her experience on her blog (named Rosedale.) She started in September.
• Jonni Good blogs about trying out the Rosedale.
• A Rosedale Diet yahoo group that you don’t have to join to read.
• A Mixed review over at Everydiet.
• A list of the allowed foods by NC… from a discussion at low carb friends.
• A Threaded discussion about the RD also from low carb friends.
• Dr. Mercola gives Dr. Rosedale props. (Dr. Mercola loves Dr. Rosedale, Dr. Mercola loves Dr. Rosedale…)

Wish me luck!

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Remember when I was going to tell you all about my plans for my Summer of Inner Transformation? I had actually already written down a complete plan, but instead of my plans, tonight I’ll tell you about my synchronicities.

I was offered 10 free sessions of Somatic bodywork (I don’t know what it is either) from a classmate in one of my NIA classes. Tonight in NIA, our teacher ended the class with Feldenkrais exercises. I felt so different as I started walking after the excercises, lighter but heavier- more connected to the floor. Then our teacher mentioned that she teaches a class in a neighborhood near mine. It’s only $10 a class. I’m going to do it. Tonight I got a haircut which is outer transformation, but ya’ll know it’s inner transformation too. I have CURLY hair and the last (EXPENSIVE) hair cut I got was a mess. I got this haircut as a trade. Rock on, craigslist.

I finished my CD! It took several hours of work for several days in the recording studio and it has 5 songs and totals 12 minutes! Phew! It was fun. Now I’ve restrung my guitar and am waiting for the strings to settle in. Woo! :) I heard about a group starting the Artist’s Way journey and I jumped on the bandwagon. I think it’s just what I need. I’ve been a slacker on my Morning Pages for the last couple of days. How do all you working parents do it?

Categories | My Life, Well Being, Health, Beauty, Links

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…if you hunger for a deep change in your life that moves you in the direction of less stress, more health, lower consumption, more spirituality, more respect for the earth and the diversity within and among the species that inhabit her, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I blogged about Cultural Creatives at one point on this blog. I wish I could find it. Now Augustine has brought the words to light again. You can read more about Cultural Creatives here.

There is also a Cultural Creatives web ring. Some of the sites included look a bit new agey for me. (”I’d like some Cultural Creative, heavy on the science.”)

There is nothing flaky about this. There is nothing New Age about this. These people are practical. They love the Earth, and they want to live their values.

Oh, well thanks, Meta Filter. Count me in then. Most of the comments at MetaFilter were harsh and I don’t think most of the commenters actually read the book. Although I thought this one was pretty funny:

Do cultural creatives have indigo children when they mate?

HA! :) Despite some self aggrandizement and new ageyness of the people who count themselves as Cultural Creatives, sociologist Paul Ray and psychologist Sherry Anderson discovered a real phenomenon in the culture and their book is definitely worth reading.

Categories: Humor, Books, Links

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Barbara Sher would like this study. Years ago she came up with the idea that people didn’t need to improve them selves to get what they wanted in life, they just needed a team. This study from San Diego State University: Social Rejection Impairs Self-Control, adds empiracle evidence to that idea.

“Because these were lab experiments, we know that the rejection causes this breakdown in self-control – and not the other way around,” said SDSU Psychology professor Jean Twenge, whose extensive work in the area of social rejection has also helped to better understand acts of violence and aggression. “So there is some truth to the popular image of people eating cookies and ice cream after a break-up. They also won’t want to get up from the couch to do anything challenging.”

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Yes, revere me. Less than a year ago at this time I could run 20 miles. I rock. I still rock even though running 3 miles would be have my lungs aching at this point. Once you run a marathon you rock indefinately. That is the glory of the marathon. Lisa Watts apparently made that running thing a habit.

When I started running in my twenties, the exercise suited and soothed me. Out on the road, breathing hard, I could burn up my frustrations and sort out my questions. Years have passed, but I keep running. In hectic times, it grounds me. In wary, uncertain times, the miles sometimes point the way to some solution or relief.

Read the ten spiritual life lessons that running taught Lisa Watts.
Thanks to Laura at Starling Fitness for the link.

Categories: My Life, Unitarian Universalism, Well Being, Health, Links

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Umm.. yes, while it’s true that it’s good to love yourself and if you don’t you might self-sabotage (see last post,) self sabotage can also be healthy! I forgot about that until today when I was listening to a CD of my old NLP instructor Nick Le Force. He reminded me that if you try and make a change that does not meet the needs of all parts of yourself, you might self-sabotage. You’ve got to consider ECOLOGY! Resistance may be an important signal to you that there are other important factors you need to consider as you create your goal.

Here is some web-based advice to deal with self-sabotage. John David Hoag writes about ecology issues that come up when creating goals:

“What do you want?” isn’t always easy to answer. We may have conflicting thoughts or feelings about it. We might welcome help to resolve an important issue. But beneath our desire for help we might not be entirely sure we want the issue resolved. It might be a sort of “inner secret” for us, even to ourselves. This is called an “ecology issue” in NLP. Unlike traditional therapy which calls it “resistance,” NLP doesn’t minimize or pathologize it. In NLP we understand that it is precisely those ecology issues that are the keys to unlocking new realms of potential. Before any change can take place — and reaching a goal is a change — resolving a problem is a change — the ecology must be attended to. Otherwise, we’ll be going nowhere fast on the road to our desired outcome. Our ecology issues can stop us — because they’re so important.

So, how do we figure out what those conflicting thoughts/feelings/needs are? Laura Moncur at Starling Fitness recommends writing it out, so does Sraightforward Coaching:

If you find yourself struggling to manifest a goal you have set yourself, try this exercise* to discover the hidden fears, beliefs and values that might be holding you back: write down all the reasons why you DON’T want that goal in your life. Let your darkest thoughts surrounding your goal reveal themselves on paper and keep writing until you can’t come up with any more. These are some of the fears, beliefs and consequences surrounding your goal or decision and they might include the one(s) that are holding you back. Once they are all out in the open, you may find some issues you need to work through before you are ready to achieve your target. Reframing or redefining your goal to address the conflicting value or belief could also work to integrate the goal with your personal ecology.

After asking yourself some good questions, NLP Weekly recommends giving yourself time:

Let the questions sink in.
Write them in your journal (you do have a journal, right?).
Read them before bed time and wait for answers.
You’ll get dreams, songs, words, flashes, memories, voices… don’t ignore them. It’s important to notice, note and acknowledge. Your brain doesn’t like keeping riddles unsolved.
Asking good questions and giving it time to find the answers with no pressure, is one the greatest talents you can develop.

Reading and thinking about ecology reminded me, once again, how important it is to treat myself kindly. If part of me is protesting, (which shows up in my weight loss goals as eating fattening food I don’t even want,) then instead of dragging those protesting parts of myself kicking and screaming, I can attend to myself, (listen!) and do my best to meet all my needs, address my concerns, and calm my fears. As you know, those protesting parts are hard to ignore. You might as well turn to them and say, “So, what do you want, anyway?”

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Keeping your body healthy is an expression of gratitude to the whole cosmos - the trees, the clouds, everything.

-Thich Nhat Hanh

I was just reminded of how great Laura Moncur’s fitness blog is. Head on over to Starling Fitness and check it out. I read every article in the Motivation section. As I read about her internal struggles- the thoughts, the self-sabotage, I thought, there is no point in trying to trick myself into exercising because, until I wholly love and accept myself, there will always be some part of me that self-sabotages. Now I also remember that besides telling myself that I love myself, another way for me to understand that I am worthy of love and care is to show myself. One way to show myself that I love and care about myself is to eat healthy foods and do healthy exercise.

More tips for treating yourself like you are worthy of love and care:

• Buck societal trends: Reward yourself for what you do, not how you look. In fitness goals that translates to: consider yourself a success when you take actions towards your fitness goals, whatever the result on the scale.

• Be kind to yourself in little ways. Are you sitting in an uncomfortable position? Shift your body now, stretch, breathe deeply. Let yourself feel comfortable physically.

• Remember what activities you enjoy. Make doing activities you enjoy a priority in your life! If you love painting and think you don’t have time for the full blown hobby, take some time today to do a small sketch. Even giving yourself a little of what you love is a kindness. It’s better to give yourself something today than to withhold from yourself until you can have it perfectly.

• Don’t wait until you think you deserve love to be kind to yourself. Has anyone ever loved you unconditionally before? It’s time someone does. You can be that someone.

• If you have trouble unconditionally loving yourself… don’t get down on yourself for that! You can always step out one level from your current thoughts and acknowledge your thoughts or behavior and say “ok, I acknowledge that.” Sometimes it’s not the thought or behavior itself that hurts, but the meta-thought you have about it. For example, if you feel depressed just notice how you feel and avoid adding an additional layer of hatred, blame or guilt for what you are feeling. If you feel fat, just notice that, love yourself anyway and avoid adding an additional layer of anger or guilt or self-hatred. I think that is part of what “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional” means.

Didn’t I start this entry by talking about fitness motivation? What does all this self-love talk have to do with that? Well, if you want to get fit, and then you create a plan, and then you follow that plan, probably nothing. BUT if you want to get fit, and then create a plan, and then you… try to do it and sometimes do it, but sometimes buy yourself donuts (or potato chips or…) even as another part of you is screaming ”NO!!”, or some part of you refuses to go running even though you know you‘d feel better if you did, or you lose weight and then freak out when someone gives you a compliment then… you may have a little self-sabotage going on. One way to deal with the self-sabatoger is to love the little bugger. Hug the dragon. As all of you is loved (by you,) you (all of you) will want what is best for you, because you will know/feel you are worthy of the best.

So, practice unconditionally loving yourself so you can be of one accord, want to be healthy, create a healthy plan, and simply follow it. In the meantime, use some of Laura’s motivation suggestions and gently drag yourself out to excercise. Be a good parent to yourself, and with all the kindness and compassion you can muster tell yourself, “I’m doing this because I love you, you’ll thank me when you’re older.”

For another look at positive self-talk,check out Norm Ephraim’s article.

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Those of you who know me will know (or at least you’ll know now!) that I can get a little paranoid about my health. Yes, I am one of those people that can read a list of symptoms and say, “hmmm… maybe…” In defense of myself, the things I get paranoid about are at least slightly probable. Last month I had a growth on the side of my nose checked for skin cancer. The doctor said it was probably just skin tissue, but I had a friend who had just had to get a significant portion of her nose dug out because the first doctor she went to said that her growth was just tissue. Hers turned out to be cancerous tissue and she had to then get part of her eyelid skin removed to patch it up. She told me to make them test me. So I did, (it was just skin tissue.) So, you see… that’s just sensible, right?

Now that I’ve read the story in O magazine about mercury poisoning, I want to get tested. Turns out that it is expensive: $250! So, I typed in “Free mercury testing” in my search bar and found $25 testing. Greenpeace and the Environmental Quality Institute are doing research on mercury poisoning and offering heavily discounted test kits. I ordered one today. I think taking this particular test is smart, especially if you are thinking of having babies anytime soon. Research shows that mom’s who have high levels of mercury in their blood have babies with high levels, which can cause learning disabilities. I’ll let you know how it turns out. Luckily (and embarrassingly,) I almost never have what I’m worried that I have.

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Boy, I guess needed Oprah today.

I grabbed the magazine at the check out counter because of the cheery colors and thought, “Oh what the heck.” And immediately chided myself for buying something I don’t need, to try and help my mood. It turns out I do need this issue.

First, I read this amazingly insightful and poetic article about friendship unraveled by Vivian Gornick. I have a recent friendship that has unraveled, a childhood friendship that has drifted, and a current friendship that is so important to me that I already cry some(hormonally induced)times when I am faced with the possibility of it’s impermanence. Ahhh.. sorrow. There were no step-by-step checklists of how to deal, just a comforting, validating essay acknowledging the pain of endings and the mystery of relationships.

Then, I came across the breathing space portion of the magazine, which just has a calming nature picture and says “Breathing Space.” So, naturally, I teared up, as I am wont to do on this particular day of the month. Speaking of which, last night I cried til 3:30 in the morning. I started in the afternoon. I had to skip going to a movie with friends because I couldn’t stop crying. For some reason, with this hormonal influence, the floodgates of my unconscious open up, all my primal fears are activated, and my safe framework of thinking melts away. At least now, after many years of this experience, I have the presence of mind to eventually think, “Oh.. this might be the first day…” But it doesn’t help the profound core sorrow and aloneness I feel. Today I wanted to draw a picture of me with my hands on my hips saying to the world, “You disappoint me.” (Maybe I still will. If I do, you know you’ll see it here first.)

I even got out my art supplies, and with a hot pad tucked into the front of my pajama bottoms started to create! Until the pain got so bad I had to crawl on my bed and pound the top of my head into the mattress. But, back to Oprah. By the time I got to the store where I saw the magazine, the pain had become a dull throb that I could ignore. See, I had to get more food so that I could take another mega dose of pain killers without hurting my stomach. If I hadn’t been so sad last night, I might have thought of taking them then. It helps if I take them the day before. As it was, it took until about 2:30 this afternoon for them to kick in.

I saw some healthy food pictures that I could use in my inspiring “new healthy me!” collages. I read that cell phones possibly can give you cancer. I drifted past an article that I’ll read sometime about the areas in your brain where certain types of thinking occur- a possibly useful article for my life work. I read “What are you waiting for?” About a woman who got so involved with the have-to’s in her life that she no longer made time for dancing. Ahhh.. another one that hit home. This year I want to learn to be happy and I discovered a few years ago that one way to do that is…Aha! Do things that you enjoy! (Seems so simple now.) So, I want to, once again, prioritize my happiness. It’s amazing how going dancing even once a week can change the landscape of my life.

Then I read answers from Oprah. Michi from Lakewood, CA asked, “For some reason the minute I start feeling and looking good and getting compliments, I sabotage myself…” Oh Michi! I’m glad you asked that. Oprah? “…You need to ask yourselves a lot of questions about why you’ve put on weight and why you’ve dieted time and time again. But I can already tell you what the answer is: You don’t feel worthy of being loved.” Oh Oprah, you hit the nail right on the head, for me.

In another of my feel good shopping sprees, I bought a book about affirmations and decided to follow her program of writing down one affirmation 10 times a day for 21 days. I wrote down a lot of possible affirmations, but I wanted to get at the core of some of my troubles. Eventually I got to “I am worthy of my time, attention, care, love, and expression.” I wonder if writing this down yesterday and thereby directly confronting one of my core issues just as my hormonal primal-fear-floodgate-opener kicked in was a big factor in the tears til 3:30 am episode last night?

Then there was a story about Daphne Sungia who was a very healthy person who turned out to have mercury poisoning. The jury is still out on the usefullness of this article for me. Is it a synchronous warning just for me, or another health paranoia that I will eventually have to satisfy at the doctors office, spending my money and my time. Who can say? Here are the facts, the symptoms are: muscle aches, (sometimes,) blurred vision, (not so much,) skin rashes, (no,) inability to concentrate, (check,) memory loss, (yes, since I was 25,) and unexplained sadness! Check! I have been eating over three servings of fish a week and I did touch mercury once as child when a thermometer broke. By the way, exposed mercury can instantly poison all the air in a room. Beware. There’s also a handy little table in that article which says which fish is safe to eat and how often.

Then there were some big fifties style skirts I’m not too hip on, a super cool cereal dispenser, and a tulip tea cup that made me actually want to add “a set of teacups” to the ever increasing mental list of things I will buy when I’m rich.

Then the piece de la resistance in the “Live Your Best Life” section: a poem by Rumi.

This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of it’s furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

Ahhh, Rumi. So maybe it’s ok that I am still demanding and needy and… oh all my other list of flaws that aren’t part of the recipe for perfect inner peace and happiness. Ahh… so that was the Oprah magazine this month. I hope you enjoyed this review. For those of you using this review as your guide, I flipped through from the back.

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I’ve been waiting and waiting to write this post! Happy Valentine’s Day!! I woke up happy this morning, it must be all the love in the air.

I went to the Vagina Monologues for the first time on Wednesday. It was so good I wanted to go back again on Friday! My best friend where I live is a boy, so I was surprised and reminded of girl energy at the show. In college I often had one main male in my life and was surrounded, inbounded with lots of women. I loved all that female energy. I helped to start a feminist group at my small town college, where it was a pretty radical group to be in.

The show was just a montage of women’s real life interviews about their Vaginas! Pretty simple format and unusual topic. When I told my guy friend about it, he assumed it was about sex. No, it was about vaginas, front and center, with all vagina activities and interests, including sex, on the periphery. The thing I realized after the show is that there is a lot of talk about penises. There are many shared cultural images and there is shared knowledge. Just think of all the urinal scenes in movies, all the ball bashing scenes that inspire a collective ”ooohh!” Some men think of their penis as their other head, some name their penis. We know a lot of about the life and times of the penis. The vagina? Not so much.

That is what made the show so interesting. Because there isn’t a lot of shared cultural metaphors about vaginas, all the women’s vagina metaphors and images were soooo unique. How they thought about their vaginas was unique and surprising, but their experiences elicited understanding nods, laughs and groans from the audience. It was a great, interesting, entertaining show. But the most amazing part is how I felt when I left. It brings tears to my eyes just typing it. And again I’m surprised and bemused by my strong reaction. I felt so good, and happy and proud. And yes, I did have to have my own mirror episode a few days later when I got home. Yep, just like I remembered it! :)

I had a confusing and often painful childhood. And yet, somehow I came into adulthood with healthy and wholesome attitudes about my body, vagina included. My mom, along with all her bad mothering, did do some positive things. I’ve been remembering with gratitude that my mother taught me how to clean myself, and answered my questions honestly and always seemed to revel in her own body. As if it was good to be a woman!

Wow, this a pretty darn honest post. I hope you find healing from other people’s stories, like I do. If so, check out the Vagina Monologues which is really a fund raiser to promote kindness (stop violence) towards women. Start with yourself. A related site is Men against Rape, which again I’d like to rename in the positive, Men promoting REAL masculinity and respect towards women.

Happy V-Day all ya’ll!

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I’ve been in a stew. My aunt said it best, “When you are sick, everything has portends of doom.” Yesterday, I talked to a school advisor who said I would probably end up working in a coffee shop, (or was it a gas station?) after hearing my professional plans. Asshole. For some reason, knowing that I was going to ignore his advice gave me the same feeling as Allison running from the cops. I felt like I stepped into another reality, without the protection afforded by following the sanctioned rules of the group. I saw my reflection in the blank TV, with my matter of fact eyes, and could see the little girl I used to be, with no respect for authority for authority’s sake, no respect for rules that didn’t make sense. I used to refuse to call adults by their last name and would call them by their first name, as they did with me. Are some of us just born that way, or is it a product of my childhood where I was inherently an outsider, so I could see with more unsocialized eyes?

I went to the library to get more videos to ease my at-home-with-the-flu boredom. I was looking for videos that would make me feel better and change my darkening world view. It’s interesting how many movies have the theme of the individual vs. the group. I checked out Cold Sassy Tree and Clueless, among others. I watched Cold Sassy Tree. The main character is trying to find a home and is shunned for her non-conformity by the townspeople. I can relate. Luckily she finds a stand up man, so she has a framework of safety around her different ness. I can relate to that too. No matter how weird you are, if you have a stand-up conformist-seeming man, you are still acceptable, not dangerous as you might be on your own. Yesterday it seemed to me that so much art, like movies and music, was made by non-conformists who were sending secret messages out to us other non-conformists telling us, “It’s alright, keep following your dreams, you can find a way, a path, no matter what the herd says.”

Seemingly paradoxically , I am finally discovering how important having a group is to me, and am learning to reach out to people when I need help. It’s a very healthy thing for me. Yesterday I could viscerally feel the safety in it, especially after watching the Net! (It’s not the video to watch when you are feeling jumpy from running from the cops, or sick.)

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I definitely have the flu. “Pain when you move your eyes” ??? I’ve never heard of that before. That is now my worst symptom. ick.

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It started on Wednesday with a hacking cough and congested lungs. I had a fever of 101 to 102 until the middle of Saturday night, when it broke, and I woke up soaking wet.

Since I moved to a new place I have gotten about 4 or 5 colds. I usually pride myself on not getting sick and when I catch the rare cold, I boast that I can recover completely in 2 days or less. Once my roommate and I had the same cold and she was sick for 3 weeks and I got better in, yes, two days. My plan:

• Rest immediately, don’t work through the illness, it will just prolong it.
• Gargle with hydrogen peroxide at the first tiny tickle in your throat.
• Start taking zinc lozenges right away- 6 a day, suck, don’t chew.
• Eat chicken soup with cayenne pepper and raw garlic in it- enough of both that it burns your throat.
• Mix salt with warm water and suck it up through your nose - cleans out germs and mucus.
• Avoid cold medicines that dry you out- your body is trying to wash the virus out.
• Drink lots of liquids, of course,
• take Echinacea and vitamins, and
• eat healthy, and avoid sugar.
• Wash your hands often and disinfect surfaces you touch a lot, like doorknobs. (This is probably more for the people around you.)
  

It works! So, in the past, I didn’t mind getting a cold so much- I hardly ever got one, and when I did, I had an effective routine. Now that I’ve gotten 4 or 5 in one year, I’m feeling a little irritated and frustrated, and my treatment enthusiasm is waning. That protocol takes energy. I’m tired of telling people, “Sorry, I can’t, I’m sick.” I feel more inclined to work through the cold, so I don’t miss out on stuff. This weekend I would have gone on a road trip to Arizona, even with a cold, if I didn’t feel so bad that it would have been ridiculous. I missed a fun dance last night which two people invited me to, I’m going to have to foist my church job off on someone else today, and I just pray I can go to the concert I’ve been looking forward to tonight. Even typing this is a drain. This is one of the most miserable colds ever and after doing a symptom check on Web MD, I think it could be the flu. I have some of the worst symptoms of both the cold and flu.

Hope on the horizon: Web MD lists lots of ways to prevent the cold and flu, including getting a flu shot, (which I never dreamed I might do before.) Here is the one that prompted me to write today:

#5 Take a Sauna

Researchers aren’t clear about the exact rol