dreams

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My mom and I seemed to have intertwining dreams last night- maybe partly because we are working together to help a family member and have had intertwining conversations.

I dreamed that my mom was going to have a baby. I was hoping it was going to be a boy. I would be happy either way. I was longing for a brother or sister the same way I used to long for one when I was a kid. I was also longing for my mom’s attention and was worried that she would love the baby better than me! When I woke up, I felt positive about the dream.

My mom dreamed that she and I were standing with three toddlers and we were all holding onto helium balloons. One of the toddlers lost the balloon and it floated up into the sky. The toddler was upset. I let go of my balloon so I could tell the toddler, “See, I don’t have a balloon either. Both our balloons are in the sky together.” And then the balloons found each other in the sky and floated away together.

I thought it was really sweet of my mom’s unconscious to give that role to me. Ahhh…  

I want to do balloon art or something. I wish I didn’t have a day of packing ahead of me. Here are some balloon videos in honor of the magical balloon dream.

99 red luft balloons by Nena

You can watch the 34 minute movie The Red Balloon on Google videos.

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Lyrics

Last night I had the strangest dream
I sailed away to China
In a little row boat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned
Didn’t want no-one to hold you
What does that mean?
And you said

Ain’t nothin’ gonna to break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin’
Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin’

You’re on a roll and now you pray it lasts
The road behind was rocky
But now you’re feeling cocky
You look at me and you see your past
Is that the reason why you’re runnin’ so fast
And she said

Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on moving
Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on moving

Never let another girl like you, work me over
Never let another girl like you, drag me under
If I meet another girl like you, I will tell her
Never want another girl like you, have to say- Ooooooh

Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down
Oh-no, oh-no, I got to keep on moving
Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin’

Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down
Oh-no, oh-no, I got to keep on moving
Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin’

Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down
Oh-no, I got to keep on moving
Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride
I’m running and I won’t touch ground
Oh-no, I got to keep on movin’

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I’m on Facebook. My nightly goodnight ritual. I notice the kitten is crashed out on the floor by me. I take pity on him. Alright, time for bed. I take the limp bodied cat and lay him on the foot of my bed. He gets re-situated. I hurry and get ready for bed so that he doesn’t think he has to follow me to the bathroom like the good re-incarnated dog he (obviously) is.

Checklist:

  1. Lights off
  2. Door locked and chained
  3. Heat turned off. (Well, its a cold night, surely our heater with a mind of its own won’t heat up the place too much if  I leave the thermostat on 20?)

Climb in bed. My feet are cold. Oh no! I don’t want to get out of bed and use my proven feet-in-hot-water method. I check: yes there is an extra blanket on my feet. I breathe under the covers and try to funnel the hot air to my feet.  I toss and turn. I try to use the mind body connection. Feet in hot sand, feet with a blow dryer on them…  Toss and turn, rub feet together. OH NO! Oh gosh, my feet are never going to heat up! Finally I fall asleep.

Dreams:

There is a water fall. I’m with my mom and Granddad. We are taking pictures as we frolic in the surf of the pond created by the waterfall. Its not very deep. No wonder! I scoop out the water fall and try and funnel more water to the pond. I’m driving a truck for the mob. The last delivery I’m making for them. I have to funnel gasoline from one truck into another, one cupful at a time. Gas gets on me. I can smell it. Why am I doing this? I’m with a mob co-worker friend. There are stacks of shampoo and conditioner in the garage. I’m going to take one Kirkland shampoo and conditioner. NO! Ok, only a conditioner. I really need more conditioner. But my friend warns me that if I steal from them, the mob will hunt me down. (Why can I steal their gasoline but not their conditioner?) I need to take a shower before I drive this truck. I can’t stand this gasoline smell anymore.

My guy friend who I am not being friends with calls my name outside my apartment door. “Dell!” I say. “Oh no, she’s there!” I hear him say to someone. They laugh and climb in my neighbor’s window. I didn’t know he was friends with my neighbor. I feel really sad and mad about this.

Wake up. Have to go to the bathroom. Gosh, its hot in here. My dutiful cat-dog follows me. I turn the heater off. Note to self: must always turn heater all the way off. My cat and I head to the kitchen. I get some more water, he gets some food. I go to bed.

Now we see where the cat-dog didn’t get all the abilities from his previous life. I live in an apartment. Yet, cat-dog has lost me. I’m in bed, my feet are warm. He makes some small whimpering mews. “Where are you????”  I am not moving out of my bed. My feet are warm. I am situated. I need to fall asleep soon – its a small window of opportunity here. “Milosz…” I call softly. I don’t want to wake up my neighbors. I pat the bed so he can follow the sound. This exchange happens several times. I’m getting worried that he will annoy some sleepy neighbor so much that they will report our clandestine living arrangement.

FINALLY, I can hear him in the room. “Mrow!?” You dumb butt! Yes, “Mrow!” of course, “MRow!” YEs, I am in the room NEXT to the room that you were in, BACK in the room I am ALWAYS in this time of night! He is so relieved. He jumps up on the bed purring and puts his leg on my leg. “I FOUND you!” Yes, yes.. He turns and stretches out along my leg. He’s asleep… I’m … awake. Oh no, window of opportunity lost.

I felt like I was awake for HOURS. I have no idea though. I live in the city, yet it was totally silent.  I tried to think of ways to fall asleep. I kept thinking, should I just get up? I would really like to take a bath. I couldn’t believe Dell would be that mean. Oh yeah, it was a dream. The apartment was layed out differently so I’m sure it was a dream. Maybe I can get up and take a bath? Images of my old girl friend’s happy family keep coming back to me.

My roommate came in my room in the morning. She stood by my bed. Her hair was disheveled. She looked sad, “Do you think I’m funny?” She demanded.

Then it was really morning and I could hear my roommate getting ready for work. I tried to say, “Hey, I had a dream about you last night!” But I couldn’t get my mouth to work or much sound to come out. Wow, I must have finally fallen asleep! I tried again to say it before she left, “Hey!” I heard my voice a little bit. I tried harder, and my voice came out “Hey! I had a dream about you last night!” Then I was really awake, the only voice in the still, dark night. My neighbors must think I’m nuts.

Finally, I really did hear my roommate getting ready to leave for work FINALLY.

My kitten was curled up next to me, all relaxed and loungy from a restful night’s sleep.

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