True Confessions

The life and times of one B. R. Aidwood.

Today I put Efficiency in Learning: Evidence-Based Guidelines to Manage Cognitive Load in my wishlist and thought, “I’m such a learning nerd.” I love to learn and I have a high tolerance for boring education and hard to read books because I’m really motivated when I want to know something. (Not that I think the above book will be boring, no offense meant, Ruth Clark.)

Since I was a little kid, I’ve thought of better ways to teach people who don’t have as high a tolerance for slogging though bog-like educational materials. So you would think that I would be in the correct field right now.

After a lot of careful thinking, I got a master’s degree in education and became an instructional designer. I LOVED my program and I LOVED the people I went to school with. We got along so easily. It was like we were the same tribe of people. I loved the projects we got to do. They were fun. They were creative.

You would think all of this points to job happiness. However, my experience in the field so far hasn’t been that positive. Actually, for the most part, I HATED my last job. I had to sit in an office, sit still, sit in front of the computer. My job was basically a high level admin job and I’ve seen a lot of jobs that are advertised in my field that are the same. I don’t want to be a (not so glorified) secretary!!

Admin jobs are the WORST for me. People need different things in their lives, and I NEED autonomy, variety, and stimulation.

Among other things, I find human beings, movement, and creating something stimulating. So, sitting alone in front of a computer doing admin work??? NO!!!!!!!! Not for me. What’s a girl with an instructional design degree to do? That’s what I’m trying to figure out.

Maybe I need further education? Maybe I need to switch fields all together? Whatever I do, I will always want to communicate ideas with people so they will change their behavior which is what my awesome education was about. So, it wasn’t wasted. But what do I do NOW?

A little slide-show about making e-learning interesting by Cathy Moore. I think most of you will be able to relate to the first part of it – the BORING Corporate Drone! Dun dun dun! AGH!

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The Singles Coach, Nina Atwood, says to know what you want before you go out dating. So, here it is:

What I want in a man

Must have:

He…

  1. wants to live his dream- has a dream and is going for it, even if it takes awhile
  2. likes spending time with his family (ie: me and our kids) it is one of the most important things to him and he does it
  3. is enjoyable to spend time with-  is generally optimistic, tries to make the best of situations- not a complainer
  4. does fun activities- makes an effort and makes it a priority to do things he enjoys
  5. eats fairly healthy- cares about his health and cares for it, but isn’t obsessed
  6. is comfortable in his body
  7. can provide for himself and his family (maybe with help from me)
  8. wants kids or is willing to have kids and be an involved, loving father
  9. * is above the line MOST of the time
  10. is willing to do some fun things with me that I want to do that may be a little out of his comfort zone
  11. picks up after himself
  12. thinks I’m funny  and likes and admires who I am

We…

  1. have chemistry together
  2. have fun together and can be playful together
  3. laugh together
  4. work well as a team together

I…

  1. like and admire who he is, love being around him, can be myself around him, am inspired to be my best self, and am proud to be with him

Preferences:

  1. doesn’t collect things (definitely doesn’t have it be a major part of his life)
  2. good dancer
  3. never married before and no kids
  4. 6 ft – 6′4″ tall
  5. good cook!
  6. takes me camping, and teaches me and the kids how to play sports
  7. likes animals
  8. handy around the house

* Above the line vs Below the line
(This list is from The Solution and it articulates very well what I have often tried to describe as “grounded”, “has it together”, “down to earth” or “emotionally mature”)

Above the line

  1. Emotional- angry, sad afraid, guilty, grateful, happy, secure, proud
  2. Mental- clarity of thought
  3. Time- present in the moment
  4. Relational- separate but close
  5. Spiritual- secure connection
  6. Behavioral- healthful
  7. Cravings- low and manageable
  8. Health- vibrant and resilient

Below the line

  1. Emotional- hostile, depressed, panicked, ashamed, chronic worry, numb, false high
  2. Mental- confused, forgetful, obsessive
  3. Time- living in the past, living in the future
  4. Relational- merged or disengaged
  5. Spiritual- lost, abandoned, obsessed
  6. Behavioral- unhealthful
  7. Cravings- high, seem unstoppable
  8. Health- sick and vulnerable

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I read Ebert’s more emotional/moral post about Universal Health Care and this was my response:

I’ve had insurance for most of my life. When I worked for myself I didn’t, but I had enough money to get the root canal I needed.

I read once that the main difference between people with insurance and without, the thing that most affects the most people who don’t have a disease, is the ability to go to the dentist.

Just before my scheduled appointment to get my root canal, another dog jumped on my dog and broke off both of his back legs. That’s right, he didn’t break my dogs back legs, he broke them off. They were just hanging down in the bottom of his skin disconnected from the rest of his body. He dragged himself home and was waiting for me there. (A house guest had left the door ajar while I was away. I have never spoken to her again. Its not charitable, but I just can’t.)

He pressed his face into my chest as hard as he could, shaking with fear and pain. I drove him to the doctor. I said, “Get him pain medication, immediately, first thing.” The doctor wanted to bind his jaw so he wouldn’t bite. I said, “I’ll hold him. He won’t bite me and I don’t care if he does.” He didn’t bite me.

The doctor said that my dog would probably not walk well again if we got him the operation and I it was a terrible decision – put my dog to sleep, maybe mercifully, or get him an operation and perhaps cause him more suffering. I told them to give my dog the operation.

I didn’t have money to get the root canal. I was grad school bound and wouldn’t have insurance for another three years. I went through grad school with sometimes severe pain. When I saw Cast Away and the main character hacked out his tooth with an ice-skate, I thought, “You would really do that.” I thought it was very realistic.

I have a lot of opinions about health care. I think its going to be a challenge with any system to deal with a larger population that is living longer, but since this is a more emotional post, I just wanted to share my most personal emotional story about health care. It would have been really nice to get a root canal right when I needed it.

My dog is ok, over 6 years later he is alive and well. I did physical therapy with him and he returned to full health. He is 14 now and still the best dog ever.

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