I take a messed up relative to a good NLP practitioner. (This requires forward as well as backward time travel.) I warn the other relatives about the plane. It gets more complicated as I realize that I am going to have to bring other current people back with me because they are so darn stubborn that they will never listen to some stranger that looks sort of like me who says they come from the future.

It gets further complicated because, say I save my dad from dying, well, what about the man my mom is very happily married to now? What about babies that have been born that might not have been born if “mistakes” hadn’t been made in the past. At a certain point the present has enough good in it, that you can’t mess around in the past anymore… I give up on those difficult questions, come back from the past, and finally decide to do the sensible thing and go forward in time to when I am about 50 and then travel back in time and give my current self some advice I can use.

50 year old advice to my 33 year old self:

1. Protect your skin, do facial exercises, start yoga now! It’s so much more enjoyable to be flexible. Eat healthy and exercise, but don’t stress- do it in moderation. Eat yummy food.

2. Learn something new. Develop your talents. It’s fun to be skilled. It leads to some of the greatest joy in life to do something well. Then you can do it with others. Then you can improvise and know the joy of creatiing.

3. I know you want to contribute to the world in the absolute best way. Choose something now! Don’t agonize. You can always change your mind. Everything you learn now will lay the foundation for the next thing you do. The only time wasted is the time spent agonizing over a decision.

4. Money. Save your money girlfriend. Don’t be fooled by compound interest. It is not linear. Get out of debt and save your pennies. Invest (in companies that you can fully support) and stop renting as soon as possible.

5. You know those relationships, jobs, etc that you justify? Get out. If you will look back and wonder why you stayed so long, get out. At the same time, take advantage of the good things in whatever situation you are in.

6. Inner work. Every bit of inner peace, increased skillfullness, etc that you gain will make every single day of your life better. You know that from past experience. It is worth spending the time to develop emotionally and mentally.

7. Relationships-all you need is love, da, da, da, da, da. I know hanging out with your Grandad doesn’t seem important. You like it, but you feel like you should be doing something to benefit humanity. Don’t worry, love is where it’s at, sister. Love your family, spend time with them, spend time with your friends, develop more and more real connections. I don’t know if it’s important in a cosmic way, but it is vital in a human way. It is the thing. It is the important thing.

I love you! Have a great time! Don’t waste any time being miserable when you can help it! Life can really be beautiful when you are sensible.

(Oh yeah, also, be sure and save your work, ’cause on November 28th your computer is going to disconnect from the internet and if you don’t save, your going to have to retype all my advice.)

Love,

Your imagined 50 year old self

Of course, It is helpful to have a good vocabulary and it will probably increase your life to exercise regularly, but it is fun to read books and it is fun to be in your body. While you are here, you might as well get the full richness of life if you can.

I guess my low self-discipline in this area has turned out to be a benefit. There is no way I would force feed myself exercise while tuning my mind out. I want to get really connected with where my body is at and notice it even more. I hope you’ll try it. It is the difference between reading a great novel that you are totally absorbed in, and getting 5 vocabulary words a day to memorize.

For me, I get bored if I’m just trying to “get through” something. Enjoyable exercising for me could not include reading, watching tv or any other distraction, because enjoyable exercise for me is really getting in touch with my body.

When I first start a work out, it is hard to imagine that I will want to notice my body more, because  working out is so hard that I want to transcend, not be more in, my body. However, I highly reccomend trying the “be in your body” approach. I think that is one of the MAIN benefits of exercise. NIA is one exercise that is a good way for me to enjoy being in my body, and you can start enjoying your body while doing NIA at ANY level. Running does that for me too, but it takes more fitness for me to feel good while running.

By Denise Clegg - October 20, 2008

Fear and Panic are making headlines these days, as though they were members of a godly pantheon come down to Earth, crushing economies, sowing chaos and seducing the most virtuous among our women. But fear and panic are not great external forces; they are powerful internal ones, generated deep in the brain. Day after day our headlines tell a story of sympathetic nervous systems gone wild…

We can’t control world events or prevent catastrophes, but we can broaden and build and serve one another through what Vaillant has called the limbic pleasures of human connection…

Today’s challenges are a call to positive action. Barbara Fredrickson (2007) makes an excellent case that doing something is the key to increased well being and presents strong research supporting the following four action strategies:

Find Positive Meaning

Studies have shown that individuals who experience positive emotions such as love, compassion, and gratitude, in addition to the natural negative emotions experienced during and after a crisis or painful life event, are less like to suffer from depression and more likely to develop and achieve future goals and better psychological functioning. Keeping a gratitude journal and writing about one’s daily blessings has been shown to increase positive emotions in the short term, and may contribute to long-term well-being.

Be Open

Focusing on the present moment and being open to sensory experience can increase positive emotions and build resources, challenging negative affect and rumination. Studies show that practicing mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation, actively savoring pleasant experiences, and going outside during good weather increase openness and well-being.

Do Good

Helpful, kind behavior generates and reinforces positive feelings. Fredrickson notes, “Counting one’s own kindnesses” may function like “counting one’s blessings.” Both strategies have been shown to increase positive affect. A second area of research shows that actively working to solve problems by setting and pursuing goals to address adversity can reliably increase positive emotions even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Be Social

Research demonstrates that the happiest people are those with the strongest social relationships. A recent series of studies show that individuals who are randomly assigned to “act extraverted” experienced more intense positive affect than individuals assigned to “act introverted.” According to Fredrickson, “beyond doing good for others, simply interacting with others appears to be a reliable strategy for increasing positivity.”

Check out the rest of this article at Positive Psychology News Daily: Exceptional Times Call for Exceptional Pleasures

(If you don’t want to read all of this, scroll to the bottom for my summary.)

Correlation analyses on the individual ethnic groups were as follows: Greek-born Australians with a low intake of milk and coffee, but a high intake of legumes, mousaka, eggplant dip, garlic, low fat yogurt and polyunsaturated oil had the least skin wrinkling (Table 4). Greek elderly living in rural Greece with a low intake of milk, processed meat, pudding and dessert, fat spread (mainly butter), but a high intake of green leafy vegetables, broad beans and cheese had the least skin damage. Certain foods were negatively associated (protective) with skin wrinkling amongst Anglo-Celtic Australians: sardines, cheese, asparagus, celery, vegetable juice, cherries, grapes, melon, apple, fruit salad, jam, multigrain bread, prunes and tea. Swedish elderly with a low intake of roast beef, meat soup, fried potato, canteloup, grapes, canned fruit, ice cream, cakes and pastries, jam and soft drink, but a high intake of egg, skimmed milk, yogurt, lima bean and spinach pie had better skin.

Overall, our finding suggest that subjects with a higher intake of vegetables, olive oil and monounsaturated fat and legumes, but a lower intake of milk/milk products, butter, margarine and sugar products had less skin wrinkling in a sun-exposed site. There may be covariance between food categories in which a cuisine may operate on skin biology.

In particular, full-fat milk (as opposed to skim milk, cheese and yogurt), red meat (especially processed meat), potatoes, soft drinks/cordials and cakes/pastries were associated with extensive skin wrinkling. In contrast, eggs, yogurt, legumes (especially broad and lima beans), vegetables (especially green leafy/spinach, eggplant, asparagus, celery, onions/leeks and garlic), nuts, olives, cherries, grapes, melon, dried fruits/prunes, apples/pears, multigrain bread, jam, tea and water were associated with less photoaging. Three food groups, namely dried fruits (prunes), apples and tea, explained 34% of variance amongst ACA.

In this study, legume consumption also appeared to be protective against actinic damage; this may be partly explained by their phytoestrogen content. Phytoestrogens have recently been identified to act as antioxidants

This study illustrates that skin wrinkling in a sun-exposed site in older people of various ethnic backgrounds may be influenced by the types of foods consumed. Correlation and regression analyses on the minor food groups and food items for each ethnic group identified the following foods to be positively associated with cutaneous actinic skin damage: full-fat milk (as opposed to skim milk, cheese and yogurt), red meat (especially processed meat), potatoes, soft drinks/cordials, cakes/pastries. Negative associations were found with eggs, yogurt, legumes (especially broad and lima beans), vegetables (especially green leafy/spinach, eggplant, asparagus, celery, onions/leeks, garlic), nuts, olives, cherries, melon, dried fruits/prunes, apples/pears, multigrain bread, jam, tea and water. Three food groups, namely dried fruits, apples and tea, explained 34% of variance amongst ACA. For nutrients, higher intakes of total fat, especially monounsaturated fat, vitamin C, calcium, phosphorus, magnesium, iron, zinc and retinol were correlated with less actinic skin damage.

An intervention study is needed to investigate whether cutaneous actinic damage could be prevented in part with higher intakes of vegetables (especially green leafy, garlic/onions, celery), legumes, olive oil, total fat (mainly monounsaturated), apples/pears, prunes, tea and possibly fish, cherries, melons, minerals, vitamin C and retinol.

Fascinating- motivating, teensy weensy bit confusing. They say that milk products are bad but yogurt and cheese are good?

To break it down for you, here is the summary from this article of what food will do which:

Wrinkles

• milk, full-fat milk (not skim milk)
• fat spread (mainly butter) butter, margarine
• coffee
• red meat (especially processed meat), roast beef, processed meat, meat soup,
• pudding, ice cream, cakes and pastries, and other desserts/sugar product
• fried potato, potatoes (?)
• cantaloupe (?) (Knock, knock, who’s there? Cantaloupe. Cantaloupe who? Cantaloupe with you tonight. Let’s get married in June!)
• grapes, (?)
• canned fruit,
• jam
• soft drink/cordial

Basically: milk, coffee, red meat, butter, margarine, and SUGAR will make you wrinkle like a little prune face.

Smooth Beautiful Skin

• Top three: apples, tea, dried fruits
• green leafy vegetables
• vegetables especially spinach, eggplant, asparagus, celery, onions, leeks, and garlic.
• vegetable juice
• water
• legumes (especially broad beans and lima beans)
• Fruit including: Cherries, grapes (???), melon, apple, prunes, pears, fruit salad, and dried fruits.
• olive oil, and other monounsaturated fats including nuts and olives
• polyunsaturated oil (??)
• yogurt, low fat yogurt
• cheese (?)
• sardines,
• eggs
• multigrain bread,
• mousaka,
• eggplant dip,
• jam? (I have this on good authority that this is bad for your skin. See above list. What gives?)

Basically: to look like a little Adonis or Aphrodite:

Drink tea, water, and vegetable juice,

Eat lots of vegetables, legumes, and fruit especially apples, (we’re still unsure about grapes and melons), get most of your fat from plant sources, but feel free to include some fish and some yogurt and maybe cheese (although yogurt and cheese are milk products, ahem.)

My two cents about tea: choose your tea carefully, event the small amount of caffeine in green tea is not good for people with reactive hypoglycemia. Also, tea is often decaffeinated using chemicals that aren’t good for you, so look into it. “Caffeine stimulates the production of adrenaline. So does reactive hypoglycemia. Therefore, caffeine in the diet can make symptoms worse because the production of adrenaline is increased.”

Meal Ideas

• Add vegetables like bell peppers, broccoli, spinach, mushrooms or tomatoes to your egg or egg white omelet.
• Add broccoli, green beans, corn, or peas to a casserole or pasta.
• Have soup. You can stick with the basics like tomato or vegetable soup or mix up some minestrone or veggie chili to cut winter’s chill. When possible, choose soups with less sodium.
• Add lettuce, tomato, onion, and cucumber to sandwiches.
• Order salads, vegetable soups, or stir-fried vegetables when eating out.
• add tomatoes, radishes, and green bell peppers to a tuna salad made with mayonnaise.
• Top broiled lean meat, chicken, or fish with salsa. Each 1/2 cup of salsa counts as a 1/2 cup toward meeting your daily vegetable needs.

Salsa counts?? Woo hoo! :)

Make it Quick

1. Store cleaned, cut-up vegetables in the fridge at eye level.
2. Try hummus and vegetables like bell pepper strips and broccoli.
3. Pick up ready-packed salad greens from the produce shelf for a quick salad any time.
4. Snack on mini-carrots at work instead of candy.

Recipes

Vegetable Primavera

1. Choose a combination of different vegetables, such as mushrooms, tomatoes, cauliflower, and bell peppers. Chop the vegetables into bite-size pieces.
2. Sauté in a skillet with a small amount of cooking oil or non-stick cooking spray until the vegetables are tender, but still crisp.
3. Toss with your favorite pasta and add garlic and basil to taste.
4. Top with low-fat or fat-free parmesan cheese.

Make-Ahead Salads

1. Chop up some cucumbers, tomatoes, bell peppers, and onions.
2. Lightly toss with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
3. Store it in the refrigerator in a bowl with a lid.
4. When you’re ready to eat, take a scoop of the marinated vegetables and spoon it over your favorite lettuce and toss.
5. You have a flavorful salad in no time.

I love this make ahead salad idea! What a great way to make a quick, yummy salad!

Alone, eating at my aunt’s house…

I learned (or actually remembered): I eat more in other people’s houses. I grew up eating at many different people’s houses, and I don’t know if I ate more when I was a kid during those times, but I noticed it when I was an exchange student and gained an alarming amount of weight. I don’t don’t know why I do this. I think it’s a mixture of anxiety and something else. If you have any insight on this, please let me know.

If our true will is simply droppin’ some fat to satisfy a scale, then we should be damned to a life of obligatory fitness. If our workouts are rituals of the celebration of movement, ability, and therefore life, we’re pretty magickal.

-Physical Subculture

I have a vague yearning and I’m not sure where it’s leading me, but the yearning is basically this: to have movement more incorporated into my everyday life and to have it be about celebrating life, (not about fitting into some crappy and ridiculous beauty-ideal-of-the-moment.) I want to dance, to move, and I want to bring that into our world more. I want more movement as part of rituals, for instance, at church.

I don’t want movement separated out into machines, expensive equipment, or tape measures.

It seems like we are all sitting still.

As I was searching for “Functional Fitness,” I came across the Physical Subculture gym. I’m diggin’ some of their philosophies, and I’m sure I could learn a lot from them. But, they might not have fully incorporated women in their world view. They described one of their workshops as being a gathering of brethren, even though their were women there. Uncool. They do link to Stumptuous, so that’s a good sign.

Here is a video bio of a health and exercise trainer named Alana Mann. In this video she talks about her journey towards her current theories about health. I love how she reveals the deeper values that are driving her career choices towards the end of the video. She says, “It’s my opinion that the world needs more strong and empowered women to really heal her.”

Click here to get to Alana’s website Origins of Energy.

Things I would love to know:

What are the underlying values driving your choices? Is it something you notice? Is it important to you that your choices match your deepest values? If so, how do you keep your values in mind while you make your everyday choices?

On the other hand, a huge BENEFIT of having more fat on my body than is deemed optimal by some people, is that it is easier to spot those people. I have great friends who just don’t care. Also, men are interested in me who just don’t care. I can earn enough money to care for myself, I’m loved, I get invited to lots of parties, I have fun.

So, as you can see, I am still of two minds about losing weight. My core motivation for getting healthier is to live longer so I can be with my family for as long as possible, and I also want to live a healthier life style so I will be thinner so I will have more status in society, but I have a competing motivation to thumb my nose at society for having such ridiculous and very harmful criteria for status.

BeaTricks who was commenter #4 on a post over at Feministe that asked why people are so angry at fat women expressed the thumbing my nose part of myself very well:

“…Having a rich and rewarding life while being fat is a form of opting-out. It’s a way of giving a giant middle finger to the establishment. It undermines men who enjoy the ego boost of a woman’s deference to patriarchal beauty standards. Also, it undermines women who devote a significant amount of time and effort in becoming/staying thin in order to meet the beauty standard since attaining it often comes with nifty privileges that fat women aren’t supposed to get.”

Bugger.

I have drifted into health so many times and thus my ideal weight (which is still considered plus size by the fashion industry) only to have my healthy lifestyle derailed when someone says something like, “oo, look at your waist, aren’t you getting thin!”

I know that people aren’t thinking of the deeper cultural significance of their statements when they comment on my body, but it infuriates me because it is such crap that thinness grants status in some people’s eyes. So, I sort of unconsciously drift back up in weight as a protest against that value.

I would like to just not care what society says and not have my weight, up or down, be in reaction to establishment values. BUT, I am a mammal and it’s normal for me to want enough status in my group to be treated with respect and to have access to resources. Bugger.

Can anyone relate? Do you have any tips about how I might be less reactionary to societal pressures? Wise things I might tell myself? Places I might move to? ;)

I got on the internet and researched natural remedies right away, of course.

I’ve found a few websites that talk about natural cures for cats. Some of the most doable recommendations from the site Animal Cancer:

1. feed them flax seed oil
2. feed them fish oil
3. provide wheat grass for them to nibble on

There is also an herbal remedy that seems like it might be good on this site.

Euphrates usually hangs out in the basement. I think he’s the low man on the totem pole out of our two cats and one dog. He is beautiful and regal looking. He gets a ruff around his neck in the winter.

He is a simple tabby, but his face is beautiful because he has three colors on it: yellow fur, a pink nose, and light green eyes. He likes to be held like a baby, loves to be loved, and will start drooling when you really love him up.

Send some good thoughts his way, please! I know he’s just a cat, but he’s part of our family and we love him.