Cynical Election Humor
Truly, I think that it is so awesome that Barack Obama was elected, and among many other positive things, I do think it shows that many of the people in the United States are not so racially prejudiced as some around the world might have thought.
I am preparing to be very idealistic, optimistic, and yet! pragmatic in the days and years to come. I want to lift people up and help them see and believe the best in themselves and others, and take action together for the common good. But, I thought this article from The Onion was sooo funny, probably because it has a little bitty grain of truth in it, that I couldn’t help passing it along. Hee hee.
Nation Finally Shitty Enough To Make Social Progress
November 5, 2008 | Issue 44•45
WASHINGTON—After emerging victorious from one of the most pivotal elections in history, president-elect Barack Obama will assume the role of commander in chief on Jan. 20, shattering a racial barrier the United States is, at long last, shitty enough to overcome.
Faced with losing everything, Americans took a long overdue step forward and elected Barack Obama…
“Today the American people have made their voices heard, and they have said, ‘Things are finally as terrible as we’re willing to tolerate,” said Obama, addressing a crowd of unemployed, uninsured, and debt-ridden supporters. “To elect a black man, in this country, and at this time—these last eight years must have really broken you.”
Added Obama, “It’s a great day for our nation.”
Carrying a majority of the popular vote, Obama did especially well among women and young voters, who polls showed were particularly sensitive to the current climate of everything being fucked. Another contributing factor to Obama’s victory, political experts said, may have been the growing number of Americans who, faced with the complete collapse of their country, were at last able to abandon their preconceptions and cast their vote for a progressive African-American…
“Today Americans have grudgingly taken a giant leap forward,” Williams continued. “And all it took was severe economic downturn, a bloody and unjust war in Iraq, terrorist attacks on lower Manhattan, nearly 2,000 deaths in New Orleans, and more than three centuries of frequently violent racial turmoil.”
Said Williams, “The American people should be commended for their long-overdue courage.”…
“If Obama learned one thing from his predecessors, it’s that timing means everything,” said Dr. James Pung, a professor of political science at Princeton University. “Less than a decade ago, Al Gore made the crucial mistake of suggesting we should care about preserving the environment before it became unavoidably clear that global warming would kill us all, and in 2004, John Kerry cost himself the presidency by criticizing Bush’s disastrous Iraq policy before everyone realized our invasion had become a complete and total quagmire.”…
As we enter a new era of equality for all people, the election of Barack Obama will decidedly be a milestone in U.S. history, undeniable proof that Americans, when pushed to the very brink, are willing to look past outward appearances and judge a person by the quality of his character and strength of his record. So as long as that person is not a woman.
Ha ha ha ah ha ha! Ahhhhhh….
You can read this entire HILARIOUS article over at The Onion.