In my first installment about making my head a nicer place to be, I talk about how I’m experimenting with being nicer to myself by simply not believing any thoughts that aren’t loving or compassionate.
This practice has been helpful, and I’ve started to notice some of the thoughts I have when I think about my plans and projects.
Here’s what happens when I get a small scale, doable idea I’m excited about:
“That doesn’t really matter.” Says a voice. “That’s not going to help anybody.”
“It might help a few people but there are more important things you could be doing…You should really devote your time and energy to something that is going to make a bigger difference… What does it really matter?…Even if you are successful at that, which is highly doubtful, I mean look at the statistics when it comes to getting a book published, even if you manage it, are you really saying anything different than what has already been said? …What makes you think you have anything to offer people? Your life is far from perfect. (You can’t even SPELL right!)… Anyway, people need major policy changes to affect their lives. You need to run for political office or something… Yeah, I know that someday you would like to run for political office. But what makes you think anyone would elect you? You lost an election at your CHURCH.”
Oh my dear, holy brain. I think I know now why its often hard for me to get started on my projects!
I don’t blame my mind though. These are just things that I’ve heard and thought, just neural tracks in my brain. My guess is that these kinds of thoughts are triggered by an emotional state, we feel anxious and we want to be safe. Brain says, cue the advice tape! And we play the tape that we got. It’s alright. I get it brain. That’s the track you’re used to. You can play that track, you can think that, but I don’t have to believe it.
I’m going to believe that we all have something to contribute. I have something to offer people that is valuable. I can help. Even if I help in little ways, it will still make the world a better place. I matter. Other people matter. My happiness matters. Other people’s happiness matters. It matters that I get to do what I love. Doing what I love in service will help people. Every little bit counts. Everyone has something valuable to offer. We can all work together to make the world a better place. The things I love to do are good to do!
Some part of my brain seems to think that if I can’t TOTALLY AND SINGLE HANDEDLY SAVE THE WORLD, then I’m not doing enough. What do I say to that? (Yep, you guessed it.) “It’s ok, brain, you can think that, but I don’t have to believe it.”
Til next time, may you offer what you have to offer, even if it’s little,
- B.
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