I should have been Icelandic
There are so many different ways to live a happy and good life that sometimes it blows my mind. Check out this article by John Carlin about why Iceland has the happiest people on Earth:
Highest birth rate in Europe + highest divorce rate + highest percentage of women working outside the home = the best country in the world in which to live.
You know, given the circumstances in the USA, I’ve always thought that my perfect life would have been to find and then marry my male best friend/lover when I was about 26, be married for a few years having adventures together, then start having babies, and, of course, grow old together.
I’ve been able to imagine other perfect lives in other cultures. I need the ingredients of community, love, touch, family, and fun, but it could look lots of different ways. I think another perfect life for me would have been living in a communal type neighborhood with my maternal family with men coming and going, giving me children and passion. I could even see polygamy being a good way to live as long as I’m with a man and women I really like, (the rub to this as that I would only like this if I were the high status wife ;) I’d be benevolent!)
Now, consider the people of Iceland. This article says that it is typical for the woman to have babies in their early 20’s while they are still going to college. Typical for them to be nursing their babies during college classes. Typical for them to have babies from several different fathers. The fathers all stay involved with the children; the mothers and fathers take generous maternity leave.
Given my life to date, which has consisted of serial monogamy, I am a dreadful failure at my dreamed of perfect U.S. life. But I would have fit in perfectly in Iceland! And I think it would have worked a lot better for me.
If it had been ok to have babies with my boyfriends, not ruining my social status or theirs, I could have three cute little kids by now. My boyfriends could still be involved in my kids lives and I could still be in touch with my boyfriends who were important people to me.
I could have had maternity leave and still gotten the same level of educational and career accomplishment. I would probably still be single right now, but instead of worrying about hurrying to find a guy so that I’m not too old to have kids, I could be happily and calmly looking for a guy to fall in love with, confident that my kids wouldn’t be seen as liabilities.
SIGH… it is too late to move?
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