An NPR snippet, a conversation, and what it reminded me of.
A teacher doesn’t want any of her students to be left out anymore. She proposes a new rule: You can’t say ‘You can’t play.’
Imagine how this rule would have changed the dynamics of the elementary school you grew up in. But the first thing I thought of when I heard this wasn’t how fabulous it would be, how fair things would finally be. I heard the radio program last year (which I can’t find online anywhere,) and all I could think of was how I was finally becoming a person with the ability to say “you can’t play” to people who were treating me badly. From Yes! magazine:
…Paley recounts the long process she and her students went through to determine whether or not such a rule was “fair” and could work.
On the surface, the debate seems to have two sides – the “bosses,” or the children who make up the games and decide who can play versus the rejected children who, for one reason or another, might spoil everyone’s game. But caught in the middle are those who just want to fit in and be liked. Those who fear sticking up for the outcasts because one day they, too, might be told, “You can’t play.”
“I could play alone,” says popular Lisa during one class discussion. “Why can’t Clara play alone?”
“I think that’s pretty sad,” replies the self-sufficient Angelo. “People that is alone, they has water in their eyes.”
“I’m more sad if someone comes that I don’t want to play with,” says Lisa.
Paley intervenes with a question, “Who is sadder, the one who isn’t allowed to play, or the one who has to play with someone he or she doesn’t want to play with?”
“It’s more sadder if you can’t play,” Clara pipes up.
“The other one is the same sadder,” says Lisa.
“It has to be Clara, because she puts herself away in her cubby. And Lisa can still play every time,” says Angelo.
I don’t know. As an elementary school kid, I definitely identified with the kids in the middle. I desperately wanted to fit in, and I ached to be popular, but I was bold too. I would be friends with the outcasts despite my fears. I didn’t want anyone to be left out. Now I identify a little more with Lisa! I’m tired of including some people. I think maybe there is a reason they are left out. Maybe the people who are left out need some social skills training. That reminds me of a story… Part 2
http://www.thislife.org/Radio_Episode.aspx?episode=27
Here’s the link to the full NPR “This American Life” episode about “You Can’t Say You Can’t Play” (it’s the third story on the program.
Brilliant!
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